Operation Hot Rod

2011-12-29T13:34:00.000-06:00

I was going through some pictures I took of Atley last week when I found one that looked oddly familiar, down to the outfit, background and everything.
The first photo was taken in October of 2010 when Asher was 3 1/2 months old, the second, last week, Atley is 4 1/2 months old.

Yes, they still look VERY much like brothers, but Atley is starting to get his own look so they don't look quite as much like twins anymore. Good thing our photos are arranged by date though, or years down the road it might be hard to tell who's who.

One thing's for sure, these boys are nothing alike in personality. Asher hasn't stopped smiling since birth, and some days I feel like Atley hasn't stopped crying since birth. Regardless of the differences, these boys are so precious to me and I wouldn't trade either one of them for anything in the whole world!

Oh Thanksgiving, why do you hate me?

2011-11-30T13:22:00.000-06:00

Yes, it's been almost an entire month since I've posted. A lot has happened, but most of it's all boring stuff.

The good news is that none of us spent this Thanksgiving in the hospital. The bad news is that it was still the second most horrible Thanksgiving ever (last year was the #1 champion).

We got food poisoning. Yep, Steve and I both. It was brutal. We spent Thanksgiving night, all of Friday and part of Saturday throwing up. Caring for 2 children when both parents are sick is probably the hardest task in the entire world. Let's just say, we're "thankful" that Thanksgiving is over.

The kids didn't skip a beat though, and on the up side, we didn't have to worry about gaining any Thanksgiving weight around here!

Update in Pictures

2011-11-01T14:02:00.000-05:00

If you can't tell, having 2 kids has pretty much meant the end of any consistency to the ol' blog. Life is just to busy. Here's what we've been been up to these last few weeks.

Goats have made acquaintance

Pumpkins have been carved

Skin has been inked

Many baths have been taken due to the introduction of self feeding with a spoon. Things have become messy.

Babies have grown

Cows have "moo-ed"

Garden Gnomes have visited.........

And those are just the things that have been photographed. Steve has joined me in the "30's club", we went to perhaps the strangest wedding ever, Asher has discovered that the stairs are a lot of fun to climb and Atley is now a much, much happier baby. Oh joy!

That's it for now folks.

Health and all that jazz

2011-10-12T13:57:00.001-05:00

My 3 guys

I'm not even sure where to begin, but I think I want to write more to process my own thoughts than to fill you all in on the not so exciting details of our lives.

For a little background information, we took Asher in for his 12 month check up back in July and the doctor had a few concerns. It hasn't really been something I've blogged about for various reason, such as I haven't really known how to process my thoughts, the findings have been long and detailed, and really we're hoping that in the big picture none of this will be a big deal, so we're trying to not make a big deal out of it.
Anyway, without going into to many boring details, Asher is delayed in several areas, but the most concerning has been that he has low muscle tone. After asking million of questions, I'm still confused as to what that is, as the therapist's that we've met with said that he's actually very strong for his age. Apparently low muscle tone and strong muscles are two completely different things. Anyway, all of this has to deal with so many problems such as his feeding (he's currently eating at around a 9 month level) and what he can chew, his energy, his pain tolerance (which is unusually high) and so on and so forth. Basically to sum it up, he doesn't feel a lot of sensation. We've started therapy for him, and are hopeful that things will get better, although no one really knows for sure how this will affect him long term.

So, that's that. Fast forward to Monday. We took Atley in for his 2 month appointment and something I've feared but haven't vocalized was confirmed. The doctor thinks that it's possible that Atley has the same problems. After being told some of the signs of the low muscle tone, I've been kind of paying attention to details with my newborn that most moms would never think to notice. Atley has had a hard time with feeding, not quite as much as Asher did, but the underlying problems have been the same, and I've been noticing that Atley's cheeks are starting to get big and puffy and sink down like Asher's did. I didn't want to mention anything to the doctor, because honestly I thought I was just being a paranoid mom, but unfortunately she noticed some of the same things. She said that normally it wouldn't be something that was concerning to her at this young age, but because of what we now know about Asher, she's seeing a similar pattern that raises some flags.

So, my next question is why? As far as Steve and I know, there's no history of these problems on either side of our family, but the doctor mentioned that sometimes a mother and father's genetic makeup doesn't always fit together like it should. So, now the doctors are wanting to do some genetic testing on the boys to try and see where all of this stems from. It's all just to much information to digest sometimes. I really was fine with all of it until a few innocent comments got me thinking about the future. We dropped Asher off in the Y childcare center last night and one of the workers mentioned about how tough he was and that he'd make a good football player once he got older. Such an innocent comment, but it got me thinking about how I want my boys to be able to do anything that they want to and not be held back, but the reality is that low muscle tone kids excel in gymnastics, not football.
I know, I know, it's silly, but I think that as a mom it's heartbreaking to think of your childs future and know that there's a possibility that you won't be able to cheer them on in whatever it is that they decide they want to pursue. I know, I'm getting way ahead of myself here with what the future holds for our kids, but it's so hard for me to NOT think about this. Mostly, I think just because I want to raise strong confident kids and I know that other kids can be so cruel and the thought of my babies getting picked on because they're "different" is just so hard for me to digest.

Another part of me feels guilty - guilty for even worrying about this stuff when in reality we have been so blessed to have such healthy children. I think of one of my friends who has a 2 year old daughter that is battling leukemia right now and feel ashamed that I'm even bothering to put an ounce of worry into the "problems" that we're facing. Back when we first found out about all of this, we had another scare that something might be wrong with Asher's heart. He had a murmur that was getting louder, so we had to send him to the childrens hospital for several tests, which thankfully came out just fine. It was just a scare, but I remember at the time feeling so grateful and positive about all of these non-life threatening developmental delays because all that mattered to me was that my baby had a healthy heart. It really put thing into perspective for me.

2 Months Old!

2011-10-06T11:33:00.000-05:00

Can't believe my baby is 2 months old already! This was taken on Sunday, just after he got out of the bath - what's been one of his few happy moments lately.

I am so not used to having a fussy baby and it's been so draining! It seems like the only time he's happy is if he's sleeping or having a pacifier held in his mouth. He is such a little sweetheart, but definitely has furthered convinced me that Asher should have been the poster child for the easiest baby in the world. Here's hoping it's a stage he grows out of, because all this crying is breaking my heart. What's ironic, is that he doesn't fuss quite as much when we're out and about and my consolation prize is that he's always been a great sleeper at night, which might explain why he hardly ever naps during the daytime.

We joined the Y last week and I'm so ready to start working out! Two back to back pregnancies has definitely taken a toll on my body and I sure have packed on the pounds. I'm also super excited to start working out just to have a little time to myself every day. The kicker is that since Atley has been so fussy and inconsolable unless someone holds him while holding the pacifier in his mouth (he can't keep it in on his own), I can't really take the kids in and put them in the childcare. Since I know he can't be held the entire time with all the other kids in there, it would only be a short few minutes before I was paged over the intercom to come calm him down, which defeats the purpose of trying to work out, so we've yet to make it to the Y. Thankfully, the weather has been beautiful so we've been taking some nice long walks every day, which actually beats going to the gym anyway.

On to other news, we've started to live life again. Went to a chili cook off on Friday night, had friends over for dinner on Saturday and then visited the botanical gardens on Sunday. Despite our fussy little guy, we're starting to get the hang of juggling two kids. I'm sure once Atley gets to the age where he has a specific nap time and routine though all that will change and we'll be back to never leaving the house again between both of the kids nap times.

For now though, we're enjoying life and getting out as much as possible while life and the weather permits it. Happy Fall everyone!

What's on the tube?

2011-09-21T14:33:00.000-05:00

The new fall TV lineup.

Whoever thought I would be so excited about what's on TV? Not me, but I have to admit, since having kids it seems like TV has become our new BFF. I guess it might have something to do with the fact that we're home almost every single night by 7pm for bedtime, so watching TV has become our new nightly tradition. Yes, it's sad but true, but what can you do when you have a fussy baby that just wants to be held? You lounge on the couch and watch TV while you hold the baby, that's what!

So let's talk the fall lineup....

Up All Night, this is the new show with Will Arnett and Christina Applegate on NBC. We watched it last week and I thought it was really funny. Maybe just because it's so relatable to the season of life we're in . The bad news is that this comes on at the same time as Modern Family, also one of our favorite comedies. Time will tell which show will win out as the battle for the remote continues (Steve is currently the king of the remote and is a huge Modern Family fan).

Next favorite on the list is Parenthood. We just started watching this one last season, but really, really like it. It's not particularly funny, nor is the storyline all that, but something about it keeps us watching.

Sadly, I think the Office is being retired from our Thursday night viewing experience. I'm afraid it's just not going to be the same without Steve Carrell and neither Steve or I really have a desire to keep on watching it. I'm so interested to see how many seasons the show will go on without the character of Michael Scott.

Good things Park & Rec is still on Thursdays though. I think that show is so, so funny. I must have a weird sense of humor though, because I don't really know to many people who share my love for this show and the brilliant characters.

Okay, that's enough TV talk for now. What are some of your favorite shows?

Tune in next time for some new exciting updates on our life. Topics of choice will either be babies or TV. Those are the only two things I really know right now. I know, I know, you're all so jealous of my extremely exciting life.

It feels good to feel good....

2011-09-09T13:48:00.000-05:00

Today is a good day. The weather is absolutely perfect and life just seems good.
For the first time in a very, very long time I'm actually feeling more like myself and it feels so good. I didn't realize just how much the physical toll that I've gone through in the last year has affected my emotional well being as well.

For the first time in a very long time, I actually woke up feeling rested and I realized just how grateful I am to not be pregnant anymore. I feel like I've actually been getting more rest with my newborn than I did when I was pregnant and in so much pain from the polyhydramnios that I could barely sleep at night. Granted, my days are very busy and exhausting between dealing with a very fussy baby (yes, he's no walk in the park like Asher was) and a very active 14 month old, but just not being pregnant anymore seems to make it all seem so much easier. I think the difference is that now I feel like my ability to do things revolves more around if the kids are up for it, rather than if I'm up for it. When I was pregnant, I always felt like I was holding our family back from having fun just because I felt horrible and couldn't do much. Now, it feels so good to know that I can take the boys on a walk to the park and not have to turn back a couple of blocks down the street because my joints are in to much pain to make it the short mile there and back. I never realized until I've started feeling better these past few weeks just how much I took my physical well being for granted.

To go along with that, I've realized just how much my physical well being is tied into my emotional well being. Just feeling more like myself physically has done so much for how I feel emotionally as well. So many days I feel like such a failure as a mom as I try to give both of my boys the love and attention that they need. At the end of the day though, I know that I've done my best and that many of these feelings of failure are normal and I've learned to be okay with that. When I look back on the several months before Atley was born though, I feel so sad, because I felt like I was constantly beating myself up and feeling like Asher was missing out on so much just because I wasn't feeling well and rarely got him out to do anything fun. I felt like such a failure as a mom, but in a different sense, because I had more time to shower him with all the love and attention in the world, but my physical state held me back because I was so exhausted from all the pain I was in that I didn't feel like I had much left to give to him. Now, my time is a lot more limited with two small children, but I feel so grateful that at least the time I have can have more quality to it.

All that to say, I'm truly enjoying this season of feeling more like myself and am thanking God for my good health. This may just be a new form of birth control. Not being pregnant anymore has definitely given me a new lease on life, although, my sweet little Atley is worth every single second of everything I could ever complain about. Speaking of the little booger, he's getting big! See for yourself....

Twins?

2011-08-30T10:02:00.000-05:00

I was looking at both some old and recent pictures this morning.

Can you tell which one is Asher and which one is Atley?

Yes, they definitely have some differences, but I still can't believe how much alike our boys look. I'm interested to see if those differences fade as they grow. As it is now, I don't think Asher looks at all like he did as an infant, but then again, a lot of that is due to the crooked haircut he now wears. :)

2 Weeks In....

2011-08-23T14:14:00.000-05:00

We're now two weeks into navigating the waters as parents of 2 and boy is it difficult! I tend to be one of those people that like to imagine the very worst, so that I'm pleasantly surprised when things are actually better than I could have imagined. This time though, I guess I could have done a little bit more imagining, because it's actually been way harder than I thought it would be.

We weren't sure how to expect Asher to respond to a new baby since he is still so young and little himself. He has had such a hard adjustment though, and life with Atley is a piece of cake compared to life with our little ~~sweet~~ Asher. He seems to have adjusted a little better these past few days, but still, it's been rough. I just feel so bad for him when he throws these little tantrums, because I know he doesn't understand all this change. Poor little guy.

Atley is finally doing well! It's been such a struggle these past few weeks to get him to gain weight. At the lowest, he had lost 14% of his birth weight, so we've had him in the doctor every other day for weight checks since we left the hospital. As of Friday, he still had 4 ounces to gain to get back to his birth weight. The doctor was skeptical that we could do it over the weekend since he's had such a hard time gaining, but I think little Atley was determined that he didn't want to go to the doctor so often anymore either and went on a binge! Literally, this kid was eating every 45 minutes to an hour. Talk about a tired momma! All of the eating paid off big time though and over the weekend he gained a whole 13 ounces! The doctor said that this is unheard of, as most babies gain half and ounce every day at most. We are so, so happy that we don't have to go to the doctor again for 2 whole weeks! Hopefully little Atley will keep the weight and continue to gain, although I wouldn't mind if the eating slowed down a little. Last night was the first night that the doctor said we didn't have to wake him to eat every 2 hours and it was so glorious! This kid likes to sleep at night just like us, and only woke up once for a feeding. It was SO nice! Hopefully he'll stick with this routine, but I'm not convinced yet.

Steve went back to work yesterday and I missed him SO much! He has been such a great help since we came home from the hospital and pretty much has taken care of Asher completely on his own. I thought I would freak out about being home with both boys on my own yesterday, but I could definitely feel God's grace. We even managed to take a nice long walk, hang out with the neighbors and I took both boys with when we went to the doctor, although that part of the day was a challenge when I had to wake Asher up from his nap to drag him along with.

Here's some pics of our cute guys taken in the last week

He loves going to the park to swing!

Asher got to sit on Chris' motorcycle, he wasn't so sure what he thought of it!

Love, love, love my three guys!

My littlest cutie!

Asher loves taking walks in our enormous new double stroller

Introducing Atley Clyde

2011-08-09T07:09:00.000-05:00

Our little guy has finally arrived, and I'm so happy to report that for the first time in what feels like forever I am no longer pregnant! Woo-hoo!

Atley Clyde was born on Friday morning at 9:50 am weighing 8 lbs. 3 oz. All went well, except for the doctors shoes got soaked and ruined during the surgery due to the extra massive amount of amniotic fluid that went gushing all over the table and floor in the operating room when my water broke. Funny stuff. This kid looks just like his big brother did when he was a newborn. It's really cute! We sure do know how to make hairy babies!

We're still in the hospital now. Going on day 5, so as you can imagine we're pretty stir crazy. At the last weight check Atley had lost 12% of his birth weight and had elevated bilirubin levels, so we're hoping all is better today and we can go home. Either way, I will be discharged later this afternoon, so we're just praying that we won't have to go home and leave the baby here. I'm feeling pretty optimistic that things will look up and we'll all be leaving together though. I'm excited to start living life as a family of 4.

Asher's doing great and having so much fun with my mom. He still doesn't really have a clue about what's going on. He does seem pretty annoyed if he comes to visit us at the hospital and the baby starts crying though. It's funny to watch him get impatient and annoyed because someone other than him is crying.

Without further ado, here are some pics of our sweet little guy:

Meeting Atley for the first time

Asher meeting his little brother. He wasn't so sure what he thought of this invader.

Our first family photo!

Can you tell that I'm totally smitten with this kid?

Steve thinks he's okay to.

Still Pregnant

2011-08-04T07:49:00.000-05:00

Well, I made it. August 4th is here and I'm still pregnant, much to the surprise of my doctor. It looks like my gut feeling was right that this little guy was gonna stick around in my belly until we gave him the official eviction notice. I'm so glad I didn't change the date of my c-section as recommended, so that my boy could have all the extra time in there that he needed. Naturally though, I am very ready to get this kid out of me. Pregnancy has taken it's toll (especially this last week and half) and I'm ready to be done.

This experience has been so different than the last, mostly in the fears I have going into this as a mother of 2. When I had Asher I had fear, but to such a lesser extend. I was scared of being a new mom, all that change, and taking care of a newborn. Then, all I really had to do is remind myself that women had been doing this for centuries and that if all those teen moms out there could figure it out, then of course I had to be more than capable. I saw that although my fears were valid, they were somewhat ridiculous.

This time around though, I have so many fears that seem so much more realistic. Namely, how am I going to take care of a newborn and give my 1 year old all the attention he needs and deserves? I'm more scared for Asher than I am the new baby. Pregnancy as a mommy has been rough. These last few months I've felt so bad because I feel like I haven't been meeting Asher's needs like I should be. I no longer crawl around on the floor with him, but instead have become the mom that sits on the couch and says "hey baby, if you bring that book to me I'll read it to you", because I really just don't have the energy to get up and be as interactive. I get it, there's not a lot I can do at this stage in the game, but I'm so afraid that once this baby gets here my Asher will feel so neglected. I just don't know how I'm going to do it, and almost daily ask myself what we were thinking when we decided to have kids back to back. I'm so, so excited for this new baby, but so scared that I just won't be able to handle all the stress that comes with parenting two so close in age.

I guess when it all comes down to it, I'm just so afraid of failing as a mom. I want my kids to be the best they can be and be raised knowing just how loved and valued they are, but I'm so afraid that I'll be so stressed that they'll just feel lost in the shuffle. I have 24 hours before this new adventure begins and all I can think of is that I'm just not ready. I feel so unequipped and full of fear that I'm finding it hard to even begin to comprehend what these next few years have in store for us. I keep hoping that all of these feelings are just from all of the crazy pregnancy hormones and that within a week or two I'll have all this great new perspective, but reality (and every single person that seems to feel the need to keep reminding me) is whispering in my ear that life is about to get very difficult.

My greatest prayer these days is just that God would give me all the grace I need to be the best mom I can be to these precious boys.

On the up side, I'm so overwhelmed with how crazy life is about to get, that I haven't even really had time to think about the fact that my stomach is about to get it's 3rd slice and dice of the year (1 c-section, 1 appendix removal thus far). Surprisingly, that's really the farthest stress on my mind these days, so I guess that's a good thing.

Gotta love the belly laugh!

2011-07-27T12:55:00.000-05:00

To much cuteness for one child. I just love this boy's belly laugh!
Not much else is going on around here. I've been having lots of painful and consistant contractions since Monday. Usually they last all night long, take a break in the morning and then start up again for 5-6 hours in the afternoon. I'm not getting much sleep, so it's been a pretty rough few days, we haven't even left the house since Monday afternoon.
My mom was going to come out next week to help with Ash, but changed her flight and will arrive on Friday now. It will be so nice to have a break so I can try to relax through all this pre-labor crap.
I'm so glad the end is almost here!

Weekend in PIctures

2011-07-25T10:26:00.000-05:00

It was a busy, busy weekend. Mostly due in part to the fact that I have been a nesting fool for the last few days. Most of Saturday was spent doing projects around the house. Steve was such a trooper and so helpful. I think he knew I was on the brink of crazy, so he didn't want to upset me.

Saturday night we hosted an East Side Brat Fest and had a bunch of friends over. Everyone brought their favorite brats and we grilled them all up and sampled away. My favorite was the Chicken and Gouda Cheese Sausage (yes, I know, technically not a "brat")....it did come with some killer heartburn though.

Sunday I was in full on crazy mode, yet again. We arrived at church at saw this in the parking lot:

It made me smile.

We came home and I realized just how exhausted I was. Did I mention that not only have I not been sleeping well, but our little guy seems to be getting some molars in? Yep, on Friday night alone I was up with him for 3 hours in the middle of the night. So not the kind of "rest" I was hoping to get just before having a baby.

So, back to Sunday, we got home from church, I put Ash down for a nap, sat down on the couch and woke up an hour later after a very deep sleep. I literally felt like I was drugged because I felt so tired and out of it. Good thing I had an afternoon pick me up.

After drinking some coffee, crazy nesting lady was back. I setup the pack and play for the new baby and our living room was instantly transformed into what looked like a home daycare.

I'm so not liking this look. Yes, we really do need two pack & plays. Because our stairs are so weird and unsafe, we haven't been able to find any kind of baby gate that will work to keep Asher off of them, so the only thing that has seemed to work is to put the blue pack & play in front of them. Yes, it looks tacky, but I'd rather be safe. The problem is, that Asher has learned how to move the pack & play, so we put the second one in the corner for the new baby so he can't get to it. Hopefully this one won't be in our living room to long, just until I feel well enough after my c-section to be walking up the stairs a million times a day again. It was really handy when we had Asher to just let him nap on the main floor where we spend most of our time at the beginning, so we figured two pack & plays was the best solution to our problem at this point. Good thing they're rather inexpensive, because otherwise I would not be so happy about shelling out the money for a second one since it probably won't get all that much use.

We ended our weekend having dinner out with a friend. After dinner we stopped by to get some coffee on our way home and I had an encounter with a woman who obviously had never been pregnant, nor knew anyone that had. Either that, or she just didn't have any common courtesy. After hearing her exclaim that I must be carrying twins because I was just so huge, I then got to hear all about how irresponsible I was for ordering 4 shots of espresso over ice. She only stopped her rant once I interrupted her and told her that I was ordering for my husband who was waiting out in the car for us and that I actually wasn't getting anything to drink at all. Way to end the night on a sour note, but Alice and I got a laugh on the way home about all of the things I could have said in response to the rudeness. Let's just say, I'm glad I chose the higher route, because I've found that I can really be quite mean at the end of pregnancy if I want to be.

Monday's here and this baby might be here soon to! I've been up since 3 am and have had regular contractions for a few hours. They stopped for awhile, but I'm feeling pretty tired and strangely sick. I'm heading into the doctor in awhile, so we'll see what she has to say. I'm still holding out for August 5th, but I'm starting to realize that I may be unrealistic to think this baby might stay in there that long. I'm still hoping though!

Here's to the start of what will be a (hopefully) great week! I'm just trying to stay positive around here!

For now though, it's off to the doctor I go! I might just bring my bag for the hospital (that I packed in my nesting frenzy) for the big "just in case."

Asher turns 1!

2011-07-18T14:24:00.000-05:00

I can't believe my little boy is 1! Okay, I might be a few weeks late on the birthday post since his birthday was the 4th of July, but life has been pretty hectic here and I didn't even have a chance to download any of his birthday pictures to the computer until today.
I was feeling really dizzy and lightheaded this morning, and come to find out when I went in for my OB appointment my blood pressure was super low (82/50), so I've been ordered to sit back and take it easy this afternoon. It's easier said than done with a little one, but he's helping out by taking an extra long nap, which is nice, so I figured it was a good time to put my feet up and catch up on the ol' blog.

Here's our little guy on his big first birthday

And a family photo to celebrate the big day:

I can't believe he has grown so much and just last year he was teeny tiny! It's true that time flies once you start having kids!
Asher is now walking all over the place and I'm having a hard time keeping up with him. This kid is so independent and outgoing that it's sometimes a little scary. I'm trying to soak up every special moment that we have together now, because I know that in about 2 1/2 weeks (hopefully not any earlier than that) my attention will be divided. I think Asher senses that things are about to change to, as he's been all into needing snuggles before he goes to sleep lately.

Everything else is good on the homefront, although life's been a bit crazy. Steve was in another car accident - the second one within a month where someone has run into him. So, he's been driving a rental for the last week and a half while the Subaru is in the shop. His car was pretty messed up in the back, so we're just happy that he's safe and okay!
We finally got new exterior doors on our house and it's definitely upped the curb appeal from what we had previously. Jeff did a great job installing them! I'm so glad to have the project marked off our list.
Despite being hugely pregnant and uncomfortable, I've actually been feeling SO much better than I had been in the previous few months. Looks like some of the extra amniotic fluid has gone down, which is really good news! I've been able to back off from all of the extra testing I was doing a couple time a week and only have to go in once a week now. It's been so nice! I never imagined that I'd feel better at the end of pregnancy than I did for my second trimester and first half of the third. It's just nice to walk again without feeling like I'm going to collapse from all the horrible pain I had been feeling.
We're set to meet our latest addition on August 5th, although my doctor is convinced that I'll go early. I'm not so convinced, so at this point don't want to change the date of my c-section. I guess the worst that can happen is that my water would break and we'd still do a c-section anyway, so either way this baby is coming. I'd like to give him as much time as possible to bake in my big ol' oven!

That's it for now!

Then and Now....

2011-07-01T09:08:00.000-05:00

This photo was taken exactly one year ago today:

And this one was taken today:

As it seems, not a lot has changed. Except for the fact that in the first photo I was a couple days overdue with Asher, and in this one I still have 35 (but who's counting?) whole days to go and still look and feel like a beluga whale.
I did the calculations this morning, and by the time I've had this baby I will have been pregnant for 610 of the last 730 days. Needless to say, I'm ready to give my body a break! I'm also really excited to be able to bend down and tie my shoes while I continue to breathe. I've pretty much forgotten what that feels like.

So, how is my little guy? We'll see when I go in today, but at my appointment on Monday he was doing really well! I still have way to much amniotic fluid, but the good news it that the levels haven't gone up much in the last 2 weeks. We are very relieved! For now, I still have to go in to be monitored twice a week, but I'm hoping that maybe because the fluid levels have been looking good that we'll be able to scale it back to just once a week. I've actually been feeling a lot better this past week to, minus a cold I've had. I'm not in quite as much excruciating pain when I walk, although, these last few days I've been feeling that end of pregnancy exhaustion where all I want to do is sleep. I'll take being tired any day over the pain I was feeling every time I moved though. Hopefully it will be smooth sailing from here on out.

Speaking of babies, my super sweet friend Sara is hopefully having one right now! They were breaking her water this morning and hopefully that will put her into labor! Wahoo, can't wait to have another Kavy Baby join the world!

Silence Is Shameful

2011-06-30T13:59:00.000-05:00

One of the things I'm most passionate about in life is putting an end to human trafficking and the sex slave industry. Check out this video and song written by my friend Luke Dowler. Download the song on I-Tunes and 70% of the profits go to the International Justice Mission to help end the human trafficking of innocent little girls and boys. Sure, spending $.99 on a song doesn't seem like much, but it all adds up and helps brings awareness to this very real and very sad problem.

And it was love at first sight....

2011-06-29T13:20:00.000-05:00

Nadia and Justin are in town visiting and Asher is loving all this attention! He met Nadia at her wedding when he was just 4 months old, so basically it was like he was meeting her for the first time this time around and it was love at first sight! He squealed with delight like she was his long lost best friend when he saw her after he woke up from his nap yesterday. So cute!

And we're off!

2011-06-20T08:15:00.000-05:00

Life is about to get a whole lot more busy around here!

Focusing on the positive

2011-06-14T09:09:00.000-05:00

So many times I find that I get overwhelmed with life, and all I really need to do is stop and think of all the many blessings we have and then I feels so silly for my "complaint list."

Just this week we've had lots of blessings, so I've been focusing on the good things - little and big!
Here's some of my favorites so far:

- Date Night! We had planned on attending a wedding over the weekend and had a babysitter all lined up for Asher. Through a series of very unfortunate events, the groom ended up calling off the wedding just 6 days before the big day. We are so sad for the couple, but really happy that they realized it wasn't going to work the week before the wedding rather than the week after! Since we had a babysitter lined up, we decided to take advantage of now having a free night to go on a date. This is such a rarity for us! Actually, I think that with the exception of the few opportunities we had to go out on our own when we were in Montana, we've only actually gone out without Asher ONCE since we had him, and that was when he was about 6 weeks old. We were way overdue, so it was great!

- Time with friends. Something we've been lacking in lately due to life. It was so great to spend some time with some of our favorite friends on Sunday. I'm a people person that really needs friends in my life, so it was super refreshing for me!

- Money! I know, it's probably not good blogger etiquette to not only talk about money, but also about receiving inheritances, but I've never been one to be proper. Our lives are pretty much open books and we are not private people. Anyway, my great aunt passed away last month and left all of us great nieces and nephews (she never married or had any kids) a little bit of cash. We had been stressing a little knowing that we need to purchase a new heating system before autumn was upon us. We REALLY wanted to keep with our "no loans except for the mortgage" commitment, but just didn't think it would be possible (because we have a boiler heating system they are way more expensive than the average forced air). Wouldn't you know though, that the money she left us is just enough to cover the cost of our new heating system and we'll even have a little left over to buy a new front and back door, along with screen doors and have them installed, something that we also really need. Such a huge, yet unexpected blessing! I'm constantly blown away by how faithful God is to provide for our every need time and time again!

- Great neighbors! Living in a duplex is a scary thing, because the neighbors you have can really make or break your life (and affect your property value). We got some new neighbors in December and have been so fortunate to live next to such wonderful people! They're really nice and have a son the same age as Asher, so it's been great to have little afternoon playdates without really having to leave our property!

- Having a washer & dryer! Random, I know, since I truly don't remember that last time I lived without this luxury. I've been doing lots of laundry though lately and have been feeling so grateful for these modern conveniences. When we here home visiting, my grandmother told me lots of stories about what life was like for her back when she was my age, and I remember thinking that I wasn't sure how she stayed sane without having all of the conveniences that I now have. I couldn't imagine having to go to the laundromat all the time, or even better yet having to wash all of our clothes by hand. This isn't something I think about often, but definitely something random that I've been feeling grateful for lately that I know we take for granted. Weird, I know.

Anyway, that's it for now. Those are just a few of my random thoughts as I make an effort to focus on the positive. I find that when I start thinking about all the blessings in our life the lists could go on and on forever - something that can't be said about everything I would consider negative in our lives. We truly have it so good!

2011-06-10T07:24:00.000-05:00

We're back! Actually, we've been back for a few days now, but I've just been trying (quite unsuccessfully) to catch up on life. We had such a great time visiting my family, but it's so, so good to be home. There's just something about traveling with a baby that makes life a lot more stressful. Maybe it's just our baby, but regardless, we're ready to stay close to home for awhile.

We had such a great time visiting with family that we haven't seen in awhile. For most of them, it's been years. I still can't believe that so many of our out of state family made the trek to Montana to visit us while we were there.

Our biggest priority for the trip was spending time with my 94 year old grandma. I really wanted her to meet Asher. The reality is that at her age, everytime we say goodbye I know in my heart it could be for the lat time. Unfortunately, my great aunt bobbie passed away just 2 weeks before we got to town, so it was a little sad not having her at our family functions.

Here's some of my favorite memories from our trip.....

Spending time with the Eisenharts and the Kavanaghs. I love these guys so much! I was so glad that Sam & Sara were able to make it up from Bozeman while we were in town. Can't wait to see the newest addition to the Kavy family in just a few weeks!

My mom soaked up every single second with Asher. It was nice for us, cause we got a break! We went out on dates and double dates with Andy & Mandie quite a few times while we were home after Asher went to bed and Mom was on babysitting duty.

Asher hanging out with great grandma. He also got to meet his second cousin Allan (named after my grandfather) who came to visit from Washington.

Funny picture - Andy & Mandie are trying to make Asher laugh, and grandma is blinking but it looks like she's sleeping. This is the best family picture we could muster up.

Asher absolutely LOVED his Uncle Andy and Auntie Mandie. They are going to make such great parents someday.

Our last day in Montana after all the hoards of family had come and gone. I still can't believe how much snow there was in the mountains. Hopefully it won't flood once it melts like has been predicted. My mom lives just 1/4 of a mile away from the big Flathead River, so it could mean very bad things for her.

__________________________________________________________________________________
So that was our trip. So great, but so tiring. Now it's time to get back into the swing of life here in Madison and prepare for this baby. Just 7 weeks left. I have had no nesting instinct whatsoever thus far, so I'm trying to get my butt in gear and get ready for this little guy to join us. I felt so accomplished yesterday when I washed the newborn inserts for the carseat. I still have a long ways to go, but at least most of it will hopefully be easy stuff. I checked in with the doctor as soon as I got back into town and my levels of amniotic fluid hasn't really changed much in the last week, so that's actually a good thing. There's still way to much fluid there. but at least it's not growing so rapidly. I had understood when I talked to the doctor before I left that I would be going in for weekly ultrasounds and non-stress tests, but I found out this week that I'll actually have to be going in twice a week from here on out unless things drastically improve. I've been super frustrated about this as it's not easy when I have Asher to care for, but really, whatever it takes to make sure our little guy is safe is worth every inconvenience to me.
That's it from our end!

The things we take for granted...

2011-06-05T10:17:00.000-05:00

How is it possible to wake up every morning and think that some of life's problems just seem to big for God when you look at this view of His creation? I can't believe that for the first 18 years of my life this is what I woke up to every morning when I looked outside my moms living room window and was never really in awe. I guess it's true that you don't know what you have until it's gone.
For now, I'm enjoying the beauty of Montana, all the different little local coffee roasters that make some of the best coffee in the world, the perfect summertime weather and once in awhile a sip or two of Steve's beer from some of the great local breweries, but most of all I'm soaking up every single minute of spending time with my family.
Watching Asher interact with his 94 year old great grandma has provided us with priceless memories and having family come from California, Washington and Idaho just to meet the new addition to our family while we're in town has made us feel so loved. Yes, I may come from the most dysfunctional family ever, but the family members that we have that are "normal" are some of the best people I've ever known.
One more day and then it's back to reality. Have I mentioned lately just how badly I want to move to California to live closer to my brother? Well, this trip has sealed the deal. We have decided that one day this dream will be a reality - hopefully sooner rather than later. For now though, it's back to another day of breathing in fresh air while we're surrounded on all sides by beautiful mountains.

Good New, Bad News

2011-05-25T13:49:00.000-05:00

The good news is that I had my ultrasound on Friday and the baby is not nearly as huge as feared. He's a pound over average, which is nothing to be concerned about. The bad news is that I'm measuring so far ahead for an unfortunate reason. Apparently I have a condition call Polyhdramnios that affects less than 1% of pregnancies. Basically, this means that there's way to much amniotic fluid in there.
At this point, a bigger baby would be a more welcoming idea.
There could be several reasons for all this extra fluid, although most commonly it happens when the mother is diabetic or carrying twins - which neither one of those apply to me. The next most logical conclusion is normally that there's a blood incompatibility or that the baby has a defect in the central nervous system that prevents it from swallowing the amniotic fluid. Then, of course, it could all just be a for some strange unknown reason. I'm praying, that that's the case.

In any event, these next few months should be a little intense. Thankfully, my OB is still allowing us to take our trip to Montana in a few days, providing that I check in with a doctor there. Lucky for me, I have a friend there that happens to be an OB. The day after we get back I'll have to go in for another ultrasound and non-stress test and that will be my life every week until this baby comes. Lots of ultrasounds and lots of tests. Preterm labor is also a big possibility with this condition, so I'm praying that our little guy will stay in there as long as possible.

As much as I'm so bummed that all of this is happening, as weird as it sounds, I do feel a little bit of relief in knowing that I'm not quite as much of a wuss as I thought. This whole pregnancy has been so uncomfortable so far and I've had such horrible back and stomach pain these past few weeks. The doctor said that severe back and abdominal pain normally accompanies this condition, so at least that makes me feel a little better. I also was warned that I most likely will swell up like a balloon closer towards the end, something to look forward to, right? :)

All that to say, I'm totally bummed. For some reason this is so much harder for me to swallow than it was when we were told that Asher might have down syndrome when I was pregnant with him. At least in that pregnancy, I knew there was a possibility that our son might have some developmental delays, but I didn't really ever worry much about bringing him safely into this world. I keep reading all of these things about preterm labor and stillborn babies that often comes with this condition and I can't help but lay awake at night feeling scared for our little boy in my belly. I'm just being honest with how I feel.

Still though, there is a possibility that all of this is nothing and I just have a ton of extra fluid in there. For now, that's what I remind myself and keep choosing to trust in God no matter what the outcome. Some days that's easier said than done, but I'm still digesting everything as it was only just Saturday night when my doctor called me.

Anyway, so that's that. I've had a lot to process these last few days as I've been bombarded with information from my doctor. I'm very thankful that my new OB is so thorough and detailed with explaining everything, since I'm such a detail freak.

Sorry for all the posts lately about kids and pregnancy. That seems to be my life these days. Hopefully soon we'll be on to happier subjects than bad pregnancy news for one boy, and swallow studies for the next. Just keeping things exciting here. :)

2011-05-20T09:34:00.000-05:00

There's nothing really significant about this picture, I just thought my boy was being extra cute this week!

No time to blog lately. Here's what we've been up to.

- Went to my friend Diana's wedding last Saturday. Her son Rafael is just 2 days younger than Asher and they're best buds, so Diana wanted us to bring Asher to the wedding rather than get a babysitter. He was great, but stayed up till 10:30 that night partying at the reception and then at 2:30 am decided he was up for the day. How exhausting! The later this kid goes to bed, the earlier he gets up. It's so strange to me. Needless to say, we've already found a babysitter for Mike & Aleesha's wedding in a couple weeks. We're not going through this again!

- I took Asher to the hospital for his swallow study on Wednesday. What an ordeal! I didn't really know what to expect as the only information I got was that the specialist was going to watch him eat. What they failed to tell me was that they were going to watch him eat while they took X-rays. For 2 hours. I was not happy that they failed to mentioned about the x-rays. It was traumatizing for me and Asher. Because of pregnancy and the radiation from the x-rays, I couldn't stay with him and feed him myself as planned, so he had all these strangers in lab coats standing around him trying to get him to eat in a dark room and they wondered why he wouldn't cooperate. I felt so bad for my little guy. It was horrible to not be able to be with him through all this and just hear him scream from down the hall. Needless to say, it was a giant waste of time as the results were inconclusive because he was so upset that he wouldn't really eat more than 2 bites and so they didn't get any good x-rays. It was a rough day for both of us.

- Today we get to go see this not so little baby growing in my tummy. I'm excited! Even with all the special targeted ultrasounds we had to have when I was pregnant with Asher, I don't believe any of them happened when I was this far along with my pregnancy. This little guy is pretty much fully developed, so I'm excited to see him and anxious to hear if he's really as huge as the doctors seem to think he is. If so, it might make feel just a little bit better about having to have another c-section. Embracing that has been a struggle for me my entire pregnancy.

Along with all this hugeness, I've become rather creative with trying to entertain Asher. My latest invention is a modified form of peekaboo. All I have to do is slouch down on the couch and I can perfectly hide my head behind my belly to play some peek-a-boo with him. It works and he thinks it's hilarious that I can hide behind my tummy. Oh the joys of looking like a whale!

2011-05-11T09:54:00.000-05:00

I remembered yesterday just how miserable it is to be pregnant in the summertime. By everyone else's standards the weather was absolutely perfect - sunny and 84 degrees. Little miss pregnant pants here was miserable though! I don't handle the heat to well whether I'm pregnant or not, but all the sudden, the memories of last summer when I was pregnant with Asher all came flooding back to me. All winter I've been longing for summer to get here, but now I'm not so sure. I guess I would take the heat over piles of snow on our sidewalk, but I'm here to warn you now that I just might be really cranky for the next 2 1/2 months.

On to other equally un-exciting news. My husband is weird, one thing he likes to do to relax is to look and see what 's for sale on craigslist. Usually that means looking at cars, even when we're not in the market for a new car. He just likes looking, it's weird, I know. Imagine our surprise the other day when he was scoping out what's for sale and came across our old Subaru. This is the Subaru that I bought used back in 2001 before I even met him. We had it for 9 years until it came to the point where we knew it was getting old and we just didn't want to deal with problems that were sure to arise in the near future. When we got rid of it, we sold it for $1 to some friends and it had 186,000 miles on it. We warned them that once it really started to die that it probably wasn't worth putting any money into it. Well, it lasted them about 9 months before ol' faithful decided it needed new brakes, or something along those lines. Somehow, whoever ended up getting it next put some work and a bunch of miles on it and now is selling in on craigslist for $3,150! I don't know what they're thinking. Yes, they've put some work into it, and Subaru's are great cars (hence why we have another one now), but that ol' bugger is definitely not worth $3,000, let alone probably even $1,000.00. We found it quite amusing and we're happy to see that my old Waterdeep sticker was still on the back window.

That's it for this girl. Exciting stuff, I know, but such is my life these days.

Week at a glance

2011-05-03T14:16:00.000-05:00

It's been a busy week around here!

- Went to the doctor last week and this baby is measuring way huge, so we had to schedule an ultrasound to see what's going on in there with all this crazy growth. I also failed my 1 hour gestational diabetes test, so had to go back on Friday for the big 3 hour test where they take my blood over 4 different intervals of time. Getting all that blood taken out of me was not so fun, but oddly enough, it was kind of nice to have a break for a few hours. Steve took some time off work to watch Asher while I sat in the waiting room of the doctors office all morning. I ended up seeing 2 other pregnant friends that were in for their appointments so got to chat with them for awhile and then caught up on a few shows on hulu. It was surprisingly rather nice! I got news yesterday that I passed this test with flying colors, so no gestational diabetes for me - yea!

- Our mini-van shopping trip was successful! I really thought I'd hate having a mini-van, but it's so roomy and convenient that I'm loving it so far.

- We had a little fun while we were in the windy city as well. Or course, we stopped by Ikea. I'm getting so much better with my shopping there, we hardly came home with anything - that's good news! We also went to Medievel Times. I had never been there, but heard from a few people that it was a lot of fun. I thought it was just okay, but Asher loved it! He was so entertained by watching the horses and the knights and was clapping his hands in delight the whole show!

- Asher had his 9 month appointment (yes, actually he's almost 10 months). He's looking good and healthy at 23 pounds! He's still having a hard time eating solid foods. I guess it must be because of the tongue thrusting issues he had early on, so we'll be sending him to a feeding specialist sometime in the near future so we can try and figure out what is going on. All along, I haven't really stressed much about these feeding issues, but I'm starting to feel the stress more now. I think just because in only 3 months we'll have another baby to care for and the thought of that is overwhelming in itself. I really hope we can get these problems resolved before the next baby gets here so that feeding Asher isn't such a source of stress for both him and me.

That's it from our neck of the woods. Exciting? I think not.

Weddings and a Mini-Van

2011-04-29T09:32:00.000-05:00

I didn't get all into the royal wedding, but I have to say that William and Kate picked a great day to get married! Just 5 years ago on this day I said the big "I do" myself and have never looked back. I was thinking in the shower this morning about just how happy I am to have married the man I did. I've never once questioned if it was the right decision and I really couldn't imagine spending every day of the rest of my life with anyone but my Steve.

So what are we doing to celebrate? We are quite the nontraditional family after all. Some ladies want diamonds or roses on the anniversary, but not me! We're going mini-van shopping. Okay, maybe it's not really all the fun to celebrate your anniversary driving from dealership to dealership to look at vehicles, but it just so happened that this was the only weekend that would work out for us to go to Chicago car shopping (after looking online we realized we could get a lot more bang for our buck there), so an anniversary mini-van extravaganza it is! Hopefully we find something that will work and it will be one of the first vans we look at so that we can actually enjoy ourselves a little while we're in the windy city.

Here's to (hopefully) a great and successful weekend!

Easter

2011-04-27T10:23:00.000-05:00

We had such a busy weekend. Steve's folks came for a visit and Asher was so excited to see them! The last time they saw him was when he was just 4 months old, so he's changed quite a bit. It was a good weekend. Steve was so, so wonderful to me. He knew that I wasn't feeling so hot, and also knows me well enough to know that when I'm feeling that way hospitality is not a strong point of mine. He took care of everything all weekend - cooking, cleaning and everything else imaginable. I felt like I was getting the royal treatment because I really didn't have to lift a finger all weekend. What an amazing husband I have, I really think I'm the luckiest girl alive!

We got Asher all decked out for Easter. We got to a casual jeans and t-shirt kind of church, but I had found this cute 3 piece suit on clearance at Macy's a couple of months back for just $4.00, so I couldn't resist to get him all dressed up! He looked so handsome! Good thing we have 2 weddings to go to in the next month, that suit is gonna be getting some wear!

Steve's parents also brought him the highlight of his weekend....a wagon! It's all pimped out to, with seatbelts, trays (you know in case you need to color while you're being escorted around),cup holders and an awning. He LOVED riding around in it....and playing with the box it came in. :)

We also spent some time at the park. Asher's new favorite past time is hanging out on the swings. It's so cute to hear him squeel with delight when we push him on the swing.

It was a good weekend, but we're all tired out. Asher especially. He's not used to having so much excitement and has been sleeping so great these last few days. Yesterday he didn't get up until 7:45. We have a busy few days and weekend in front of us, and then things should slow down for a couple days again. We're all looking forward to that!

Good Friday for me, bad Friday for Him.

2011-04-22T10:12:00.000-05:00

I woke up knowing that Easter was on Sunday, but still somehow seemed to forget the since Easter was Sunday, today was Good Friday. I remembered, of all times, while I was cleaning the toilet this morning.

As I think about this day, I feel so humbled by this amazing love that was shown for me. My heart is so full of thanks for the hope that I've been given and the wonderful life that I have through that hope. I've been reading a lot in the book of Luke lately all these different about stories of things Jesus did. It's amazing to me that he was just a man, but yet the son of God. Time after time, he had the choice set before him to show either love or hate and every single time, even to the point of death, he chose love. What an example for the rest of us, more specifically me. As I continue on this journey of knowing Jesus and wanting to become more like him, I'm struck with the reality that I have a long ways to go. I'm so thankful though for His great grace every step of the way and with every choice I make.

So, today, I remember what my sweet Jesus did for me, and my heart feels so full because of the extraordinary act of love that He's shown.

2011-04-21T07:57:00.000-05:00

All is well here is snowy Wisconsin. I think everyone's a little on edge because we're all so ready for Spring to get here.

Steve and I have been doing some major spring cleaning hoping that it will speed the nice weather up a bit. We've sold most everything that we put on craigslist in less than a week and have already made $390.00. People are weird, one guy actually paid us more for a file cabinet than what we were asking. Another lady showed up to buy our entertainment center and a saw a bookcase in our "to be put out on bulk trash day" section of the garage and decided she wanted that. We told her she could just have it and she insisted on paying us some money anyway. I didn't expect any of that! It feels good to be getting rid of stuff though and clearing the clutter. It's encouraged both Steve and I so much that we're constantly evaluating what we do and don't need that's laying around the house.

Next up is trying to organize Asher's closet and make room for baby #2. I can't believe that in just 9 months we've already acquired 4 bins of clothes that are siting out in our garage. We're really hoping it will work for them to share a room, but if not, at least we have the option of using the guest room. How do you all organize your baby clothes? I'm looking for some kind of system that works and doesn't drive me crazy. I just don't know how we'll fit everything for both boys in one closet.

On to other baby news.....I just can't believe how quickly I got just so huge this time. I'm already so uncomfortable from pregnancy and feel like a blimp. I can't believe I still have 3 months to go.
Here I am a few days ago at 24 weeks, but feeling more like 34 weeks.

And just for fun, check out how cute this kid is getting (taken last week on one of the few sunny days we've had)!

Haircut #2

2011-04-12T09:04:00.000-05:00

Yep, we had to cut this kids hair yet again! I don't know all that many 9 month olds who have had their hair cut twice already, but considering that he has the combination of both Steve and I's "hair genes" I"m not surprised.

Steve cut it super short this time, partially so we didn't have to cut it for awhile again, and partially because he messed up so he had no choice but to really chop it off. It will probably look ackward for a little while, but at the rate this kids hair grows, it will be long again in no time. He looks like a completely different baby. I already miss the longer hair, because now my baby looks like a BIG BOY!

Here he is just when Steve first starting cutting his hair:

And the finished product.....

And since we're on the subject of Asher, here's another cute picture of his new annoying habit. These past few days, he's decided that it's really fun to suck his thumb while I feed him a bottle. I don't know where all of this has come from, since he's never been a thumb sucker before. Needless to say, it takes about twice as long to feed him this way. He gets mad if I pull his thumb out of his mouth, and if I let him keep it there, he just dribbles milk all over the place and it takes forever for him to drink even just a little bit. What a weirdo...but we sure do love him!

Oh Craigslist!

2011-04-11T10:03:00.000-05:00

Despite the warnings for severe hail, tornado's and thunderstorms the weather was absolutely perfect here this weekend, so we took advantage of it!

We spent hours in our garage yesterday taking pictures of things to sell on craigslist. Besides small random items, we have a stove, fridge, 2 electric guitar cases, a barstool, 2 entertainment centers, a bookcase, a wine rack, a file cabinet, some picture frames and random wall decor up for sale. All that, and we still have about 15 unopened boxes in our garage from when we moved here 2 1/2 years ago. I'm just so sick of all the clutter and we haven't had the time or motivation to attack our garage. I'm so glad we took the time to get started yesterday. We already have a bunch of interest in several of the items, so hopefully soon our garage will look a lot bigger and cleaner! We're gonna give most of this stuff a week before we just throw it to the curb. It would be nice to make a little money off some of it, but if not, we just want to get rid of it! So, friends in Madison, do you need anything? If so, it's yours for free!
Next comes the even harder project - tackling all those boxes! I'm kind of opting more towards just dropping it all off at goodwill. I really just don't wanna deal with it anymore. Once we get rid of this clutter, I never want to live like this again. Remarkably, you would never guess we had so much stuff if you've never seen our garage! For the most part, our house is pretty clutter-free.

So, that was our Sunday, a total pain, but totally worth and I feel so much better already! We ended the evening with a barbecue at a friends house. A perfect end to a beautiful day!

9 Months!

2011-04-08T08:08:00.002-05:00

I can't believe my baby is 9 months old already! It seems like we just had him yesterday, but it also feels like he's been part of our family forever! We love our little Asher so much! He's such a fun kid - always laughing and being silly and bringing joy to everyone around him.
We couldn't love him more if we tried.
He's crawling all over the place and getting into everything he shouldn't. This kid keeps on our toes!

He's gonna be a great big brother! We love you Asher Struck!

playing with daddy's headphones and trying to be like Uncle Andy!

Yes, I'm really getting old.

2011-04-07T08:21:00.000-05:00

It's crazy how once you hit 30 everything seems to go downhill. More and more, I've been feeling like an old fogey lately and last night my suspicions that I just couldn't party like I used to were confirmed.

My brother played a show in Los Angeles last night and it just so happened that this particular concert would be streaming live online (it was some kind of special event or something). The last time I saw my brother play live was probably 12 years ago when I went to California to visit him on a weekend that he had happened to have a gig, so I thought it would be fun to watch him last night. With the time difference though, by the time he finished up playing it was around 12:30 here. In other words, way to late for this old dog. This morning, as I was pouring my cup of coffee I realized two things:
1. I really am getting old! To old to stay up late, and so old that I don't really appreciate anything if its after the hours of 11 pm.
2. I really, really love my brother. There's not to many people that I would stay up so late for, but my brother happens to be one of them.

It's been awhile since I've seen my brother, so I'm hoping that soon we can all get together. Poor little Asher hasn't even met his Aunt and Uncle yet.

2011-03-31T09:39:00.000-05:00

It's international week here in La Casa de Rodriguez. So far, in the last few days we've been to a french themed party and then the other night went over to some friends for a taco night. We may just have to round out the week and have some pizza to celebrate the Italians!

All is well in our world. Both Asher and I have colds, so we're laying low. We went to storytime at the library a few days ago and it seemed like every other child was coughing up their lung while we were there, so I expected that Asher would be next in line. I just don't get parents bringing their kids to events where they will be in close contact with other kids when their sick. I'm not a germ-a-phobe by any means, but I do think it's a matter of respect for others - especially when they let their children get up in your childs face and cough all over them. It's just rude. I'll get off my soap box now though. Gotta look at the positive, building up that ol' immune system is a good thing, right?

All is well with baby #2. He's an active little guy and always seems to be kicking up a storm. Some of his kicks have already started to hurt, so I'm not looking forward to what lies ahead. At this point in my pregnancy with Asher I wasn't even feeling him kick yet for another week, so this next little bugger seems like he might just be a wild one! Lord have mercy! :)

We're unwillingly starting to shop for a mini-van. With the new carseat recommendations (which I'm sure will soon be law) there's just no way we can fit both carseats in our Subaru rear facing and still have enough leg room for the person in the driver's seat to drive safely. Usually we drive our cars until they die, and of course, for the first time ever, both of our cars are running great! We're not so excited to start the mini-van hunt. Neither Steve nor I know anything about cars, so we're always afraid of getting dooped and buying a junker that looks nice on the outside. Our little Accord has been such a great car and we're sad to have to get rid of it. It still has a lot of life left in it.

That's it in our neck of the woods for now!

Outnumbered 3 to 1

2011-03-23T08:14:00.000-05:00

Well, the results are in and there's no question about it - it's a BOY! Asher is gonna have so much fun with a younger brother so close to his age! Because of the time of year that both of them will be born, it looks like they'll be going to kindergarten together to!

I'm super happy that we don't have to buy any clothes - yes, Miss Practical, I am! I kinda thought we were having a girl, but wasn't surprised at all when we heard boy. The pregnancies have just been so similar, and even though I thought it was a girl, I knew that realisically it was more likely to be a boy than girl.

It's been an up and down week around here. Most exciting moment of the last week - meeting cute little baby Teddy for the first time! He's so cute and seeing him made me SO excited to have another little teeny tiny baby of our own soon!
Tim and Amanda also came up to visit for the weekend and it was so fun to see them. Everytime we have friends from St. Louis here it makes me realize just how much we miss all of our friends back home. I'm so grateful though that we have made so many wonderful friends here in Madison, and I know that eventually one day once we move on we'll be missing all of these friends to. Such is life!

The down side of our week - our little man is working on a tooth that I can barely see. Hopefully it will just pop through some day because these last few days have been miserable for Asher and myself. I just feel so bad that he's in pain and wish there was more I could do to help. In the meantime though, the rocking chair has become my home in the middle of the night. Why is it that when babies are teething it seems to hurt them most at night? So puzzling. I don't remember the other two teeth really bothering Asher much at all except for a day or so, so this long drawn out process has been rough on us all!
Speaking of the little bugger, he's summoning me now. Gotta go!

Sticks and stones break my bones...

2011-03-22T10:25:00.000-05:00

I've had a lot of time to think to myself lately as most of my days have been spent rocking a fussy 8 1/2 month old as he works on getting some more teeth. Thank God for our glider!

As always, our church is doing a 40 day time of prayer and reflection during the lent season. I've had some specific things and people that I've been focusing a lot of prayer on, but as I've done so, I've started realizing just how many areas that are in my life that I need prayer for.

These last few days I've been thinking about the power of forgiveness, but how forgetting sometimes seems to be so much more difficult. More specifically, the power that words have and how they can affect us. In the recent months, I've had two separate instances where people that I have really cared about have hurt me deeply with their words. I'm not here to dwell on the past, but these past few days I've been pondering forgiveness and forgetting. Is it really possible? I feel like I have been able to offer forgiveness, but still somehow those hurtful words keep running through my mind. So, is it really a place of true forgiveness that I've come to, or because of the fact that I can't seem to forget does it make me the guilty party that holds on to past offenses?

I'd like to think of it as wound that's raw that still hasn't completely healed. Sometimes the wound will leave scars to remind us, but the pain is gone. I'm really hoping that's the case in my life and with these relationships.

I remember a lot about my childhood, but some of the things that stick out to me the most are the hurtful words that my father spoke to me. Now, I can say that I truly do forgive him for that, and those words don't hurt me anymore. But, I feel that as an adult words sometimes have a tendency to hurt worse. With my dad, I knew even as a child that he didn't love me (talk about forgiveness, you'd think after working through that one that I'd be the expert on the topic!), so although many of his words hurt and I didn't even realize just how much until my teen years, I eventually came to the point where I realized that the depth of the hurt was sometimes dependent on the depth of the relationship.

So, here I am as an adult contemplating all of this and wondering if I truly will come to the point where I can not just forgive, but forget. Is it possible? I really want to know. I'd like to think, like with my fathers words that although forgetting may seem impossible, remembering but not feeling the hurt is possible, but I also have to wonder if remembering those hurtful words is just another way to hold something over the head of the person that has offended. I really want to be able to wipe the slate clean, but sometimes I just wonder how it's possible when it seems like words are a constant reminder of pain that was caused.

As I've pondered all of this, I've also started to feel very remorseful about many of the words that I've said that have hurt others. So many times our words can be taken out of context or misunderstood and cause hurt to others that we can't even imagine. Me and my stupid big mouth probably do that a lot, mostly with good intentions though.

As for now, my questions are unanswered, and as much as I miss my sleep, my time awake rocking my sweet baby in the middle of the night has left me lots of time to process the things in my heart. As I've done so, I've been left with the sweet assurance that regardless of my how I feel, God is working in me and it's the process, not the end result that really matters.

Love This!

2011-03-15T15:10:00.001-05:00

The highlight of my day? Seeing this video pop up on my blog reader! Okay, I admit, in my hormonal pregnant state it made me cry a little to - tears of joy though!

We are so proud of Sam & Sara!

Celebrating St. Patrick!

2011-03-14T09:40:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was actually a beautiful day here. Okay, maybe it was only in the 30's, but it was sunny and sure felt nice compared to the long winter we've had. Anyway, so we decided to make the most of it and met up with a few friends to head down to the St. Patty's day parade. This is the first time I've been able to enjoy the parade with Steve as normally he's marching in it for the hurling team. I'm secretly glad he's taking this year off hurling and will play softball instead. It's so much safer.

Anyway, the parade was great and the kids had fun. They really liked this little guy

It was nice and so needed to just get out and get some fresh air. It seems like all 3 of us have been sick a lot lately, so we've been stuck inside and I've had some major cabin fever. Spring is almost here!

On to other news, I found a great deal on what my friend Sarah likes to call the "cadillac of double strollers" this weekend. My relentless searching on craigslist finally paid off and it feels good to have a stroller marked off on the "need" list. It's so nice that we really don't have to buy much for this baby and I'm so glad that all of our gear and nursery theme is neutral and able to be used again whether it's a boy or girl. We find out next week what we're having, so we may have some shopping trips in store for some girl clothes. I really kinda think it's a girl, but I guess we'll wait and see!

I'll leave you with this cute little picture. I realized yesterday that we don't really have any green for our little guy to wear. Luckily, I remembered that we had this cute little hat that my brother sent Asher for Christmas. He looked festive enough, right?

2011-03-03T09:26:00.000-06:00

I've finally found a little time, and not much energy to check in.

I feel like I've been constantly waiting for this second wind that is supposed to arrive with the the second trimester to greet me, but instead I feel like I've almost felt worse than I did in my first trimester. I've been so exhausted that I just don't have much motivation for anything. It doesn't help that I've had horrible headaches and have been very sensitive to light and sound. I try to keep up with the laundry and housework, but that's about the extent of my life right now. Steve was used to dinner being ready when he got home from work, and now he's lucky if I even take some chicken out of the freezer to defrost. I live off of yogurt, fruit and granola during the daytime and whatever Steve can whip up for dinner in the evening.
I feel like such a bad wife, but being pregnant seems so much harder this time around. It doesn't help that Asher is into everything now that he's crawling.

Enough of my complaining though, life is still good and as much as I hate being pregnant, I'm so happy for this little baby inside of me.

Lots has been happening lately and I feel like my heart has been tugged in many different directions. I feel like I've experienced the irony of both rejoicing with those who rejoice and grieving with those who grieve. My heart has been torn as I celebrate new life with friends that have finally received the precious baby that they have been waiting to adopt for many months now, but I have also grieved with others as they mourn the unexpected loss of a loved one. My heart has felt the ups and downs of both and it has just given me a reminder to really take joy in the joyous seasons of life because we never know when the season may change. I've found that joy can fade much easier than grief. Grief is consuming and doesn't take any effort to experience, while joy is more fleeting and harder to maintain. I so wish sometimes that the joy came just as easy as the grief. For now though, all that I know is that it's what we do with the ups and downs in the life that defines us, not the ups and downs themselves.

I've learned through some of my own personal struggles lately that I really need to look at the big picture. It's so easy to be focused on the now, but when life doesn't seem to be going the way we had envisioned, what we do in the "now" can radically change our future. As I've been processing a few things, I've been trying to make the choices that don't bring about a "quick fix" but instead will build my character and make me more whole as a human being. Sometimes I long for the easy way out, but I know that in the long run that only makes life more complicated. I've found myself missing my grandfather and all his nuggets of wisdom. How I wish that I would have paid more attention to the life lessons he taught me when I was younger!

This and that....

2011-02-23T15:12:00.000-06:00

I can't believe that this little guy has grown and changed so much in just 7 months!

Oh how the times flies! Been a busy week here. Our furnace decided to die and we spent almost 2 days hoping and praying that our pipes wouldn't burst while it got fixed, Asher started crawling and is into everything, he also got sick for the first time - complete with projectile vomitting and all, and Steve is still hanging out down at the courthouse for jury duty.

These are the days of our lives - not nearly as exciting or dramatic as the soap opera, I'm sure, but I think it might just be better that way.

First Haircut

2011-02-18T08:25:00.000-06:00

Asher got his first buzz! His hair was getting so long that I started to threaten Steve that I would put barrettes in the poor guys hair to keep it out of his eyes. Steve really wanted to wait until his first birthday to cut it, but it just wouldn't work. The solution Steve had was that we could get a sweatband for him to wear to keep the hair out of his face for the next few months. Needless to say, that was definitely not flying with me! So, haircut it was! Poor little guy had started tilting his head sideways so that he could see beneath the hair that was hanging in his eyes.
Here's how he looked a few days before the big cut....

Here's during.....

And after!

He looks more like a boy than a baby now and seems so much happier! Lest the picture fool you, it really is quite crooked if his hair is not pushed to the side in the front. I can't help but snicker a little when I look at him sometimes.

I'm just happy he can see again!

just a boring update on life

2011-02-15T09:29:00.001-06:00

Not a whole lot to write about here.

Here's the week in a nutshell:

- Steve got called up for jury duty yesterday, which means he'll be on a boring civil case for the next two weeks with a hefty salary of $24.00 per day. I get it, its our civic duty, but it sure is a pain in the butt.

- I took Asher to his 6 month appointment this morning(yes, he's 7 1/2 months old, we're a little behind here) and he's now considered "tall" at his whopping 29" inches! Don't know how that happened since both of our families are rather short.

- Our other little baby is doing great. If you recall, I had some special tests run on my heart a few weeks back and we were so happy to get the report from my doctor that there are no major problems, just a little murmur. I wasn't really worried about it in the first place, but good news is always good.
As far as other good news, we got the results from our Nuchal Translucency screening test. This is the test that caused so much worry in my last pregnancy when they thought that Asher might have down syndrome. At the time, they told me that with every pregnancy my chance would be so much greater that the baby could have down syndrome. I wasn't really worried about this test this time, I think my heart had been prepared enough with Asher to be able to handle whatever the news was that we got. That being said, I knew our odds were higher for "bad numbers" this time around. Oh how the tables turned though when the genetic counselor called and said that the chance of us having a baby with down syndrome this time was 1 in 10,0000! WOW! Such a change. I don't remember the exact number with Asher, but I know it was less than a 1 in 40 chance, so I guess somehow my genetic makeup has changed in the last year.

- Steve cut his thumb pretty badly at work last week and had to go in for stitches. I swear, we have spent more time in the ER this last year than we ever have in our entire life.

- My belly is starting to get really big. I can't really fit into my normal clothes anymore, but my maternity pants are still to big. I hate this weird stage of pregnancy. Sweat pants it is!

So, that's what's happening in our extremely boring, yet exciting (in the unfortunate ways) lives.

What's so significant about significance?

2011-02-07T13:46:00.000-06:00

Significance. A word I've been thinking about a lot lately. Merriam Webster defines significance as "the quality of being important," but I think it embodies so much more.

One struggle I've had since becoming a mom is feeling significance. I don't feel like I'm having an identity crisis by any means, but I often times find myself asking "what do I enjoy?" and come up with a blank answer. I don't really have any hobbies anymore (unless you count taking naps, which are few and far in between). Music used to be an important part of my life. For the first time in around 15 years, I've found myself having nothing to do with the music world. Unless you count the silly songs I make up to entertain Asher once in awhile. I used to also really enjoy coffee. So much that I used buy green coffee beans and roast my own batches. Now, I consider myself lucky if there's still a little bit left in the pot from what I made the night before that I can zap in the microwave really quick in the wee hours of the morning. The very thing I used to make fun of people for and turn my nose up at, I'm now doing. What have I become, that is the question I'm asking?

In no way do I regret becoming a mom. I think it's definitely the most important task I've ever had and I truly do enjoy every minute of it. I do sometimes fear though that mommyhood has taken over my life so much that I don't really know who I am anymore.
If a stranger were to ask me "what I do", I'd have to respond that I change diapers, feed a baby and making sure all the laundry is done. Blah, how boring is that? Sometimes I feel like I was born to be a mom, but other times, I wonder if somehow I've got lost along the way because my attention now revolves completely around someone else.

I wouldn't say it's even "me" time I'm looking for, because honestly, I don't even know what I would do with myself if I had a little "me" time, and that's what really scares me. The thought of having some time to myself to do whatever I want actually kind of stresses me out, because I can't for the life of me figure out what it is that I would want to do.

For now, my questions remain unanswered and I hope that as a new mom I'll eventually get in the groove of life and figure all this out. I don't like feeling insignificant, but at the same time, I don't like that I seem to have the need to feel significant either. I guess all that I know is that I can rest in the fact that I love my sweet family so very much and am so grateful for this opportunity that God has given me to be a mom. Ultimately, I know that my identity and all of my likes, dislikes, hobbies, talents and the little things that make me, well, me, are built from a lifetime of discovering myself and knowing that everything that has or has not been put inside of me comes from God anyway. In him, I can rest secure and know that He's not done with me yet.

Get me out of here!

2011-02-03T10:10:00.000-06:00

It's one of those days where I'm just going crazy. I'm so ready for Spring to get here. I feel like I'm on house arrest here. It's just been so snowy that I haven't had much motivation to get out. Every time we leave the house we have to shovel out the driveway to get the cars out because the city snowplow is constantly dumping snow right where the road meets our driveway. It's sunny this morning, so I thought it would be a nice day to get out and take a walk - until I saw that it was -7 out. No thanks.

It doesn't help that Asher's been waking up at 5 am for the last 3 days wanting to play. I don't know where our 6:30 mornings went, but I sure do miss them. I've been so exhausted with this pregnancy and am just praying that my energy will return sooner rather than later.

Okay, enough complaining for now. It's a good day, we're all happy and somewhat healthy and although it's so cold that Asher's snot freezes to his face if we go outside, at least we have the sun shining in through our windows (the ones that aren't covered up with snow drifts, that is).

Saturday is almost here. I can't wait to have Steve home for the weekend. It seems like this has been the longest week ever. Until the weekend arrives, I will be dreaming of hot summer days and ice cold beer(s).

Digging out....

2011-02-02T11:35:00.001-06:00

It's a family snow day. To bad Asher thought it would be fun to get up at 5:00 am and Steve will be outside clearing snow all day. Maybe a day off for snow isn't all it's cracked up to be.
This is what our house looks like today.....

Front of house

There is a back door there somewhere!

The view from our living room window

I think I can, I think I can. Unfortunately the snow blower ran out of gas at this point. At least Steve was able to clear most of the neighbors snow and about half of ours before it died.

My hero!

Hope everyone is safe and warm with all these storms! The good news is that the groundhog had no shadow. Bring it on Spring!

Ultrasounds, ultrasounds

2011-01-31T15:11:00.000-06:00

I've spent a lot of time at the hospital these last few days. Nothing serious though. Friday I went to get some tests run on my heart.
My new doctor has been concerned about a heart murmur that I've had since I was a baby. Apparently it sounded abnormally "murmusish?" at my last appointment, so she ordered up an echo cardiogram for me. Nothing to exciting, just a bunch of extensive tests run on my heart. Thank God for good insurance or I'm sure we'd be paying this one off for awhile! A team of cardiologists will look over the results this week and I should have some answers soon. Really, I'm not worried about it at all though and I'm sure it's nothing.

This morning we had our 13 week ultrasounds and blood tests for Down Syndrome and Trisomy 13 and 18. This was the big one that caused so much concern and worry when I had Asher. We met with the same genetic counselor we did last time and she remembered us and was so happy to see our healthy little boy! Basically the story's the same. I should get my blood test results back sometime toward the end of the week or the beginning of next week. Everything looked great on the ultrasound (ironically, the ultrasound tech remembered us to because we had to have so many specialized ultrasounds last time) and the baby's neural tube measurements were right in the average where they were supposed to be. Such great news about that! It looks like our next little baby will be a thumb sucker! The little cutie was sucking its thumb almost the entire ultrasound. So cute!

Strangely enough, I'm not really worried about this test at all either, even though when I was pregnant with Asher the genetic team warned me that with each passing year and pregnancy our chance for having a baby with down syndrome would grow. I just feel like everything will be okay and know that my heart will be able to handle whatever comes our way. I feel like I was able to really prepare myself with the news we got in my last pregnancy and kind of got all of the worrying out of my system then. This is so not like me, as worry has always been something that I've struggled, so I know it must be God working on my heart in this area.

I've just been feeling so overwhelmed lately with God's goodness to us. I feel so grateful for all the of the blessings He's given us. He truly has answered all of our prayers and my heart is so full of thanks.

Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. James 1 :17

Life and babies and all that jazz....

2011-01-26T16:33:00.000-06:00

Hello world. One would think my New Year's resolution was to NOT blog. That is not the case, we've just had a lot going on and honestly, I've just been tired so it's been on the bottom of my priority list and I'm just fine with that.

So what's going on with us you might ask? Asher is huge, 6 1/2 months now and loving the solid food journey! I'm afraid our little boy might have an appetite like his dad and I'm expecting our grocery bills to skyrocket with every passing year.
Steve's still working his butt off and coming home exhausted every night.
I'm still doing the stay at home mom gig and love it. I haven't been getting out of the house much, but am working on that. It's just so hard to get motivated when it's so darn cold outside.

My waist continues to expand, but I can't blame it entirely on eating to many goodies over the holiday's. Yep, I'm knocked up again and we are all so excited around here! I went to meet my new OB a couple of weeks ago thinking I was just 5 or so weeks along, but it turns out this baby has been in my belly for awhile now (12 1/2 weeks to be exact).

Apparently I got pregnant the week before my appendix ruptured and it never showed up on the pregnancy test they gave me at the hospital before they started my IV and whisked me off to surgery. I guess our little baby is quite the fighter to have survived such an ordeal. I never even fathomed that I was pregnant for those few weeks after my surgery, because anytime I felt bad I blamed it on my appendix and never realized there could have been something else going on. My first inclination that I could be pregnant was when I got really bad heartburn a few days before Christmas. Heartburn seems to be a staple with pregnancy for me.

Anyway, so Asher will be a big brother sometime around the end of July just after he turns one. I'm so thankful. As crazy as it sounds, we prayed that I would be able to pregnant as soon as the doctor gave us the okay, and our prayers have been answered!

So that's what's new in our neck of the woods.

Good Bye 2010 - We're Sad To See You Go!

2010-12-31T08:05:00.003-06:00

I can't even tell you how many people I've heard say that they are so ready for 2010 to be over. It seems like a lot of the people that we know and love have had a really rough year.

For us, I think it's been one of the best years yet. I'm seriously so sad to see 2010 end. Yes, we've had a few challenges this year, but the good has definitely outweighed the bad.

Is it bad that I'm scared for 2011? It seems like 2010 has been so great, that 2011 will almost certainly seem rough. I don't know why it is, but for some reason whenever life is good, I have a hard time with sitting back an enjoying it, because I always fear that something bad is just around the corner. I know this is silly thinking and so not God's heart for me, but I still have somehow always felt that way. I have found though, that when the tough times do come, it helps to look back on all the blessings of the past and it reminds me that there is a season for everything.

Back to the 2010 that we love so much though! These are some of my very favorite memories:

January - finishing our basement renovations! It seriously felt SO good to have that project done! We also rang in the New Year with friends in St. Louis

February - A surprise visit from Nate. We miss our friend so much and love it when he comes to visit!

March - A girls weekend with Sarah in Milwaukee. Steve and Nich stayed back and painted the baby's room and setup the crib.

April - Celebrating our anniversary in Chicago. We had such a great time. We also went to a Cardinal's game in April - one of my favorite things to do!

May - Baby shower in Madison and then a trip to St. Louis for 2 baby showers there. The baby showers were great, but most of all I loved spending time with our family and friends!

June - what a great month June was! We went to Minneapolis for a hurling tournament and then spent a few days with my family in Eau Claire. I also went on maternity leave June 1st and loved having time to get ready for Asher to arrive.

July - We celebrated the 4th of July in the hospital bringing our little guy into the world. Not only was this the best month ever, but the best moment of my entire life as well. I also put in my resignation at Independent Living in July and choosing to stay home with Asher has been one of the best decisions we've ever made!

August - My mom came to visit and meet Asher. We also had a mini-vacation to Chicago in August and it was so perfect! I also got to see my old friend Kris, who was one of my english students in Thailand back in 1999. We had so much to catch up on - luckily he is now speaks fluent english!

September - A trip to St. Louis to introduce Asher to our family and friends there!

October - A visit from my dear friend Sara that lives in Montana. I finally got to meet her little sweetheart Amelia. This was definitely one of my top highlights of the year. We also had a visit from my Dad and Stepmom this month. It was fun seeing them in the "grandparents" role.

November - A trip to St. Louis to see Nadia get married. We had such a fun time!

December - What a great month to celebrate all that God has done for us in 2010. We spent a day in Milwaukee enjoying being a little family and took Asher to his first NBA game. We also got new windows installed in our house this month - it may not be exciting to some, but it was for us! :)

It has been a very good year and we're sad to see 2010 leave us. We are so excited for everything that's in store for us in 2011 though. Hopefully this will be another exciting year for our family!

Happy New Year everyone!

Christmas and such...

2010-12-30T09:35:00.000-06:00

Christmas has come and gone. We had a low key holiday here with just the three of us and it was nice and quiet. For some reason though, it didn't really feel like Christmas. I guess because we didn't really do anything special. It was so nice having Steve home for a few days though. The best part of our Christmas was being awakened at 7:00 am on Christmas morning with the a text from Nate that said "we're having a baby RIGHT NOW". Three and a half hours later, little Cora entered the word. We're so excited for Nathan and Jamie and can't wait to meet their little beauty!

Asher got to meet some more of his family yesterday. My grandparents were in Minneapolis visiting my Aunt & Uncle so they drove down to Madison for the day. Asher LOVED his great grandma and couldn't stop smiling at her all afternoon long. It was so cute! My grandmother is in the early stages of alzheimers, so it was really great to be able to spend this time with her while she knows what's going on.

The other most exciting news of our life right now is our medical bills - which equal a big fat $0.00! I've been waiting for all the bills to start coming in the mail from my appendix ordeal last month and finally called the insurance company this morning to see what was up. I had prepared myself that we would probably owe thousands, but was informed that everything was completely covered! I don't even have to pay the $100 ER copay. Thank God!

I can't believe I've spent a total of almost 2 weeks in the hospital in the last 6 months and have undergone 2 major surgeries and still have had to pay nothing. I am so, so grateful for the wonderful insurance that is provided by Steve's job. Having had been without medical insurance for an entire year (during that time we purchased some stupid temporary emergency insurance that cost an arm and a leg and was basically useless) before Steve got hired on we know just how blessed we truly are.

It's been a good week!

Last week....

2010-12-21T11:40:00.001-06:00

Last week...

- 4 Christmas parties under our belt

Christmas party with some of my new mommy friends

- 1 new tooth for Asher

- All of our Christmas cards and gifts in the mail and our Christmas shopping is DONE! Yea!

- Meeting with the parks department. I'm now on the park planning committee and the park across the street from our house should hopefully get some exciting updates in the next year, including two new park benches, a new walking trail that loops around and connects to the bike path that goes to the capitol, a new water fountain, community garden plots and an informational kiosk. This park SO needs this and I'm excited to see improvements made.

- A trip to Milwaukee and Asher's first NBA game! Bango the Buck even came to visit our suite!

Bango the Buck stopped by our suite at the game!

- I used a sander for the first time. Had to smooth a shelf out in the basement to repaint it. I felt so empowered! :)

- Mall walking. I've found that Asher doesn't like being cooped up in the house. I, on the other hand would be happy to never leave the comfort of my warm home. We got out to do a little mall walking last week just so Ash didn't go crazy and he was so happy. Makes feel like an old woman to become a mall walker, but anything beats walking out in this cold and ice!

Christmas is almost here! We'll have a low key day just relaxing. I'm looking forward to having Steve home with me.

That's it for now, Merry Christmas!

Life these days...

2010-12-13T09:39:00.000-06:00

I've been a blog avoider. Life has just been busy and I haven't been motivated. I may keep this up for awhile.

Here's what's been happening in our neck of the woods lately.

Finally got our new windows installed last week. It happened to be a very cold day, so the contractors were trying to work quick. Unfortunately, because of that, they didn't follow all of the laws regarding dealing with lead based paint. We are so not happy about this. We've spent the entire week getting our house in order out of paranoia. Every piece of bedding and every curtain is washed. All of the furniture and heating vents have been vacuumed at least twice, and of course the rest of the house has been deep cleaned as well. Really, I'm sure it's not that big of a deal because its not likely that a lot of lead dust got in (we're not even sure that our house had any lead based paint used in it anyway, although it was built in 66), but with having a baby in the house we wanted to make sure we did everything to protect him. What a hassle though!

We also bought a chest freezer. I truly don't know why we waited to long to do this. I'm so over being connected to the stupid breast pump every day. I'm spending between 2 and 3 hours a day hooked up to that thing when you add it all up. I've been happy to help with donating milk to the NICU babies, but I'm done. I wanna save up as much milk as possible in the chest freezer so I can be done with the stupid pump. I'm about to go crazy here. Hopefully it doesn't take long to build up my stash. I haven't had much extra milk since my surgery.

We have new neighbors, and they seem really nice! We had a snow day yesterday so while Steve was clearing off the driveway, I made up a big batch of sugar cookies and frosted them and took them over. We talked for a good 15 minutes. They are new parents as well with a little 4 month old boy. I love that our neighborhood is filling up with lots of little babies!

We went to a holiday dinner party last night and our friends house that is normally a 15 minute drive away took us 45 minutes thanks to all the snow. We had to take back roads in the country and they were so horrible. We had a great time though and it was good to get out of the house after feeling like hermits most of the weekend.

Such a boring update on our lives, I know. We have pretty much become boring people ever since we had a baby. Nevertheless, that's what's been going on in our neck of the woods.

just checking in....

2010-12-03T12:15:00.000-06:00

Just popping in to let everyone know we're still alive. Haven't had much to blog about, but life has been happy around here. I'm almost back to normal after my surgery, Asher's been happier than ever, and there's a fresh pot of coffee waiting for me in the kitchen. Life is good!

Thanksgiving

2010-11-27T11:38:00.000-06:00

Despite being terribly disappointed that we didn't get to go visit my family for Thanksgiving we tried to make the best of it. We're so thankful for good friends like Nich and Sarah that made the day a little more fun! Since we had planned on being out of town for 2 weeks we had absolutely no groceries in our house (except for popcorn, of course!) so it was really nice of them to bring us some Turkey and fixings!

I'm still not feeling 100%, but nothing keeps me from black Friday shopping! I have a love-hate relationship with black friday. I hate getting out to shop, but love it when I see how much money we saved. We're not the typical "stand in line for a TV" type of people, but instead we normally get practical things. Last year was a new vacuum, this year was some new cookie sheets, bedside lamps for the guest room and light fixtures to replace the ugly gold ones in our bedroom and hallway. They're not really fun items, but saving money is always fun in my book!

Last night we had dinner with our long lost friends the Bianchi's. It was so good for my heart to spend time with these guys and really helped cheer me up. I normally don't get bummed out very easily, but I've been so bummed these last few days with just really wanting to see my family - mostly just my brother and my grandma since it's going on 2 1/2 years since I've seen them now. I hate to sound ungrateful to be alive, but I really wish all of this stuff with my appendix wouldn't have happened when it did. I'm happy to be on the mend though and am feeling better every day.

This year I'm thankful for....LIFE!

2010-11-22T21:17:00.000-06:00

I'm writing from the hospital and feel very lucky to be alive!

Early Sunday morning I started feeling ill but didn't think to much of it. I went to church and started vomiting, so decided it was best that I go straight back home. I spent the entire day puking and resting but just figured I must have a 24 hour bug or something. My stomach hurt really bad, but I still didn't think much of it.

I realized later Sunday evening though that I wasn't getting any better and it probably wasn't good for me to be throwing up so much. I thought I would wait it out and go to urgent care in the morning but figured that for the heck of it I would call the nurse help line from our insurance company to see what they had to say, and the nurse advised me to go to the ER.

Reluctantly, I decided she was probably right. After getting a cat scan, I was immediately prepped for surgery. I woke up in the recovery room at 2:00 am and was told that my appendix had ruptured and had been that way for quite some time. The doctor told me that had I not come to the the ER that evening I probably would have died in the night. Wowsers, I feel so incredibly blessed to be alive!

I'm so bummed though because I'll probably be here for another few days, which means we had to cancel our plans to fly to Montana for Thanksgiving. I was really looking forward to seeing my family. We had even planned our trip around my brother coming to town as well. Oh well, these things happen and I'm just grateful to be alive.

As soon as my white blood cell counts go down (right now they're at 14,000 and they need to be at 5,000) I can go home. The pain feels very similar to what recovering from my c-section was, although maybe not quite that intense. Hopefully I will be able to go home before Thanksgiving.

In the meantime though, if any of you ever have severe stomach pain around your belly button and on the right side, please go to the ER immediately! I wish I had known so I could have spared myself an entire day of horrible pain at home.

This and That

2010-11-19T09:40:00.001-06:00

It's been a busy week around here. We put up our tree - first time we've ever got it up November. We just figured with us being out a lot in these next few weeks we might as well get it taken care of. Asher loves staring at all the lights and loved watching us set it up. He's been loving this sock monkey that Steve's parents got him lately. Mostly I think he likes to chew on his arm and legs. Speaking of chewing - we have our first tooth! It hasn't broken through all the way yet, but the sharp edges are peeking out!

Asher loved watching us put up the tree. It looks kinda naked here because we hadn't put on the ornaments yet.

Other great news around here - Asher graduated from speech therapy! Yea! We had what we hope is our last visit this week. He's shown a lot of improvement with being able to take a bottle and although we'll probably delay giving him solids for a little while, the therapist thinks he should be just fine with no future problems! We'll wait in a few months and see how solids go, but if everything looks good we should be completely finished with having to do all those darn tongue exercises that take up so much time. He's also able to finish a bottle in about just 15 minutes now (as compared to 45), so we are really encouraged!

He's babbling up a storm now and has started rolling over - our little boy is getting so big!

Here's a few pics taken in the last week.

On to other new,s we're preparing for our big trip to Montana next week. I'm a little nervous about this flying with a baby business and hope it isn't to rough. After this we're looking forward to a quiet few months with no traveling and our first family Christmas together here in Madison.

Sorry for such a boring update. Such is life these days.

Dealing with disappointment

2010-11-18T10:25:00.000-06:00

I seem to have the misfortune to have had a lot of great people that I really look up to disappoint me throughout my lifetime. Sometimes I wonder if this is just a normal part of life (which I know it kind of is) or if I just happen to have been unusually unlucky in this area.
The disappointment I'm referring isn't just with the little things, like someone hurt my feelings with something small, but it's been a disappointment with the major choices that some of these people in my life have made that have completely changed the course of their entire lives. At times this has been heartbreaking for me to see.

The earliest recollection I have of experiencing this was when I was in high school and a youth leader that I really looked up to ended up cheating on his wife with one of the other youth leaders. I remember the day that he told me, just days after he had "come clean." To his credit, he was trying as much as possible to own up to his mistakes. He went to all of the people that he had been close to and personally apologized and made sure that each one of us knew that his mistakes were all because of his stupidity and in no way had anything to do with anything his wonderful wife had done to "drive him to such actions." I remember that was one of the first times I had really been disappointed in someone that I really looked up to.

I had been disappointed by others prior to this, but they had all been people that I hadn't really expected much of anyway, so it didn't really affect me like it did with this youth leader that I had respected so much. So began what felt like my career in looking up to what seemed like the wrong people.

Then I realized that we're all just human and will all make mistakes - some bigger than others. In the last 10 years I've learned a few things. One being that without the grace of God we are all hopeless. Another being that although sometimes tough love is necessary, unconditional love is a must.

Unconditional love is one of that factors that have come to make close friends more like family. Everyone says that family is forever because no matter what, they have to love you because you share the same DNA. While this true, that seems like it makes it to easy. That is why I've come to appreciate so much the close friends in my life that DON'T share my DNA and therefore don't have to show me that unconditional love, but yet have. Those are the people that could cut me out (or be cut out) of our lives at any moment. I'm thankful to say that I have quite a few of those types of friends that I know will love and support me no matter what.

I am also one of those kind of friends to others and right now I'm dealing with extending that unconditional love while I battle anger and sadness over choices that are being made. What I'm learning in the process though is that none of us are perfect and we all hit bumps along the road - some of those bumps are little potholes and others are huge manholes. Although the size of the bump matters, its if we make it to the flat ground on the other side that's really the most important.

I'm learning to choose and believe that it is possible in all circumstances to make it out of that bump and that the unconditional love that I show in the process is what has the power to help or hurt. It's believing in others when they don't even believe or care to believe in themselves that's important, and I'm learning that it truly is an honor to stand in the gap for someone as they make it out of that bump.

I'm also learning that none of us are above any of the disappointing actions that we see others playing out and because of that I've become even more grateful for the grace of God on my life.

Faith = RISK

2010-11-11T09:06:00.000-06:00

We were talking about faith in our community group last night and it got me thinking about what I've learned through my journey in faith.

When I look back on my life, I see that my faith has grown through the little stepping stones of obedience that I've taken. The more that I learn to trust in God, it seems that it gets both easier and harder. Easier in the sense that I know He's never let me down so I don't really have a reason NOT to trust him. Harder in the sense that I've seen a progression, and as I've learned to put more of my trust and faith in God even greater faith has been expected of me.

I think back to our move to Madison. It took a lot of faith for Steve and I to uproot ourselves, sell our house and move to a new city where we knew absolutely no one and had no jobs. Everyone knows our story. I moved here by myself to look for a job thinking it wouldn't be that difficult while Steve stayed back in St. Louis. Almost 3 months passed before I finally found a job here and Steve was able to quit his job and join me. What a long few months those were, but my faith was tested in ways it never had been before. Fast forward to Steve joining me here in Madison, when it took him 9 long months to find work. Believe me when I say our trust was in God and God alone through that season. Days (literally) after Steve got hired we decided it was time to start a family.

Faith with that decision comes into play here - had we not had the previous year of testing as our faith was strengthened through having to really trust in God with our situation, I really don't think Asher would be in the picture today. It was growing in our faith and trust in God that brought us to the point of knowing that it was okay to start a family because we knew that we would be taken care of.

Just the other day Steve and I were talking about our old life. When I asked him if he thought we would have started a family yet if we were still living in St. Louis he said no. Although we were making a whole lot more money there, we hadn't walked through some of the trials that had come about through uprooting our lives here to Madison and I really don't think we would have had the faith to step out and trust God to bring a baby into the picture. I'm just being real, no, I'm not a perfect Christian that always has "the faith to move mountains."

Now, I look back on our journey of faith. It started with trusting God with the little things and now has grown to the point where really I'm not that concerned about our lives because I really do trust God to take care of us. I see the journey from taking that giant leap of faith to uproot our lives and all that I've learned throughout the very detailed process and just how faithful God has been to us. Quitting my job to stay home with Asher has been another huge leap of faith for us, but again, God has been faithful.

John Wimber, founder of the Vineyard churches, said it well when he said "faith" is spelled R-I-S-K. It really is - taking risks for God is what has strengthened my faith over the years. I don't know what's in the future for us, but I can guarantee that there will be a lot of risk-taking. The kind that in 10 years will cause me to look back on this season of life, and all of the trusting and faith building that I've done in the last 2 years will seem like a breeze compared to the giant mountain that will be ahead of me.....and that's when grace comes into play. :)

I'm excited to be risk taker for Jesus - scared, but excited. I want my faith to increase, and I know that the only way that will happen is through walking through the challenges of life, and that's something that I'm learning to embrace.

Straight from the FBI

2010-11-10T12:00:00.000-06:00

I just read this press release from the FBI website. It makes my heart both so happy and sad at the same time. This issue is so dear to my heart and it makes me so angry to think about all of the poor children that are being exploited like this every single day

I'm so thankful that I can help make a difference by supporting my favorite organization in the whole world - LOVE146. Check out their website to learn more about how you can help these sweet kids that have been stripped of their childhood.

Here's a short video about the organization

Love146 History from LOVE146 on Vimeo.

An heart full of thanks...

2010-11-08T08:07:00.000-06:00

I mentioned a few days earlier that I've been on a cleaning kick. Truthfully, I've loved it. I'm one of those people that just can't relax in my house if it's messy (with the exception of our bedroom which is ALWAYS messy). Part of my reason for being better about keeping the house clean is really just out of gratefulness. I'm so thankful for all of the blessings that God has given us. We have a nice house and nice things and I just feel like God has blessed us so much that I really want to be a good steward of all that He's given us.

We try to take care of our things and I've come to realize that I haven't always been a good steward of our house. Yes, we try to make repairs when possible, and I'm thankful for the house that God has given us but sometimes you wouldn't know it by the way we live. I want to be better about that. I want to take care of our things because they truly are gifts from God. I find myself almost daily thanking God for our dishwasher, or nice oven that is large enough to fit a normal size cookie sheet in it (no, I'm not just totally weird and random, we had a tiny oven in our last house). A couple of times a week when I'm doing laundry I'm reminded of how grateful I am just to walk down the stairs to wash my clothes rather than having to drive to a laundromat like in the old days of living in a dorm. These are just little things that are easy to take for granted, but they are also all things that I've had to live without before and I have to say they make my life so much easier and for that I'm so thankful.

Really, we are so spoiled. Not just us, but America. I remember having to take the time to heat the water on an oven just to wash the dishes in Brazil. No, all of Brazil does not live that way, but the point is that a large portion of the world does. Can you tell that I haven't left the good ol' USA in awhile? When I used to travel all the time nothing surprised me, but now that I'm a homebody I find it so much easier to take for granted all of these modern conveniences and forget that they are just that - conveniences. Things that I could live without, but sure don't want to!

Anyway all of that to say that I'm realizing more and more just how blessed I am. I really do have a great life and I'm so thankful. God has been so good to us and I don't want to take it for granted. I really do want to be a good steward of the many blessings He's given us - some of them being our home, our finances and the relationships He's put in our lives. Above all, I want to cultivate an attitude of thanks and never forget just how blessed I really am. God has been so, so good to me.

just a boring update

2010-11-05T07:46:00.004-05:00

It's been an "at home" kind of week. Besides leaving the house to go to Target on Monday, going to vote on Tuesday and then going to a mom's group yesterday I haven't left the house and I haven't really minded it. Asher's not being feeling so good and I figured he needed to just be home after being so "peopled out" in St. Louis. Somehow though, it still feels like I've been busy. How can that be?

On to other news, I found an i-tunes gift card in the bottom of one of my old purses yesterday that had been there for who knows how long. I really like the band "Mumford and Sons" so I happily bought the album and have been listening to it ever since. I really like their sound - kinda folky rock.

This is us yesterday - Ashman has been not so happy with this cold so out of desperation I stuck him on the bathroom floor, shut the door (don't worry, I stayed with him) and turned on a hot shower to get the steam flowing and he was out in minutes!

Now, before you all say "ew" (like my husband did when he came home), let me assure that I'm not that disgusting mom that just puts her kid on the bathroom floor. I had literally just taken that bathroom rug out of the dryer from being washed not even half an hour before my little guy occupied it.

I don't know what's come over me, but I've been all into cleaning lately. I think it's because Asher is napping for longer stretches so I actually have time to dedicate to a project. I've been loving it! Seriously, if I didn't know better I would think I was nesting and pregnant! Hopefully all this cleaning keeps up! For now, I gotta go mop the floors (for the 3rd time this week) before my little man wakes up.

Asher is 4 months old!

2010-11-04T14:50:00.002-05:00

I can't believe our little boy is 4 months old today! It seems like the last 4 months have gone by so quickly, but it also feels like Asher's been with us forever. We are just as in love as possible with this little boy.

Lately I've just been feeling so incredibly blessed - blessed that God trusts us with this sweet little boy. I know ultimately he's really just been put on loan to us from God and I'm so thankful for the opportunity to parent him. I know that everything we have is Gods, but somehow when it comes down to the reality of it all, both the hardest and easiest thing to give up to God is our child. It's hard because our son means everything in the world to us. Our cars and house can be replaced, but this little boy is irreplaceable and to so willingly give him back to the God who has given him to us in the first place feels heartbreaking. On the other hand, it's also very easy because we know that this wonderful God that we've entrusted our entire lives to only wants what's best for us and our child and there's so much comfort in knowing that He will always take care of us and our family. It's so comforting to know that we're not alone and that we have a God to put our trust on this journey called parenting.

Our little guy is now just a little over 18 pounds. He is so much fun. Always smiling and giggling and loves to look at himself in the mirror. He sits up like a champ, but has yet to roll over. I think he's working on getting his first tooth right now. He is the sweetest and happiest little baby that I have ever laid eyes on....of course I am just a little biased though.

Happy 4 month birthday Asher!

Halloween

2010-11-02T09:32:00.008-05:00

We celebrated twice this year - once in St. Louis and once in Madison.

We actually didn't even get a costume for Asher because we didn't think we'd be home for Halloween, but Missy happened to have 2 costumes that she bought on clearance after Halloween last year that wouldn't fit any of her kids, so we decided to dress Asher up in those and I'm so glad we did!

On Saturday he was a horse, all dressed up for the annual harvest party that our old church in St. Louis throws every year. We only stopped by for a few minutes, but the little horse looked cute!

We left early Sunday morning, very ready to get back to Madison and made it home just in time for all the trick or treaters to show up! I think this is the first year we've actually been home to hand out candy on Halloween since we've moved here, so we weren't sure exactly how many kids would stop by, but we actually had quite a few!

This time Asher was a Zebra and SOOOO cute!

sitting by the door waiting for the little trick or treaters to show up

St. Louis Wedding Weekend!

2010-11-01T07:59:00.007-05:00

We had a double-whammy for Halloween this year. We got to celebrate in St. Louis and Madison - so fun!

It was also the big wedding weekend and I was so happy to see one of my favorite people get married to a wonderful man. We're so happy for Nadia and Justin - they are just perfect for each other!

The wedding and reception both were gorgeous! Unfortunately, I didn't really take any pictures. Sommer got this one of Nadia and Asher though.

Doesn't she look gorgeous?!?! She was such a beautiful bride and it did my heart good to see her so happy at her wedding. There's just something so great about being able to rejoice with others. I find myself always crying at weddings - don't know why, but I'm always just so happy for the bride and groom that it makes me tear up.

It was also sooooo fun to be able to see some of our friends while we were in town. We got to take dinner to the Nathan and Jamie and it was so great to spend time with our dear friends. Jamie is such a trooper and I already deem her a super mom even though she hasn't had the baby yet because of how amazing she has been with being on complete bedrest. I can't imagine how difficult that must be, but she is still so positive and it's so challenging to me.

Also got to spend time with the ladies and it did my heart good.

Asher got to spend time with his favorite girl Amanda and that did his heart good!

All in all, it was a good trip. I don't think we'll be making it back to St. Louis for awhile though. It really is a pain traveling with kids and as much as we love seeing everyone it's just exhausting trying to balance our time when we come to town now that we have a baby. Truthfully, it kinda takes the fun out of it.

We miss everyone in St. Louis dearly, but our life is in Madison now and we're fine with that. We love going home to visit, but I think we've decided that our visits will be few and far in between now. We'll definitely plan a trip back next spring sometime to meet the newest little addition to Nathan and Jamie's family, but other than that we're sticking close to home.....at least for the next 3 weeks until Asher gets his first trip on an airplane! :)

I'll post some pictures of our cute little Halloween charmer tomorrow. As for now, it's back to catching up on life.

2010-10-26T14:53:00.002-05:00

Happenings of my day....

We heard on the news last night that we're supposed to get some high winds and bad storms today, so Steve and I decided last night at 11:00 that we might as well put away our grill and all of our patio furniture (minus the umbrella for the table which was picked up by the wind and split in half a couple of years back when we still lived in St. Louis) for the winter. That's right, I said it....winter. I just hate that word.

Good thing we put the stuff away because we have had some rather intense wind. The empty garbage can at Jill's house across the street keep blowing over, and for some reason she keeps standing it back upright thinking that it won't blow over again. I think I've seen her out there with it 4 times already today.

Other happenings, Asher slept in until 9:45 today! I was very productive and even relaxed and wasted some time on facebook. I was able to relax because my house has been clean since last Wednesday - that's right, a full week (almost). This may not be a big deal to the rest of the world, but normally it seems like my house stays clean for about 2 hours before it needs a good deep cleaning again. I don't know how I've managed to keep on top of everything so well this last week, but I hope it keeps up because I'm loving this clean house deal!

Asher got his first Halloween card in the mail today from my cute little 93 year old grandma. She even sent him 2 crisp, clean $1.00 bills with it! She also decorated the scary haunted mansion on the front of the card with a nameplate that said "Asher" on it. It was so cute!

Thursday is the big trip back to the Lou for Nadia and Justin's wedding. I somehow keep thinking that if I don't think about it, packing up all the baby stuff at the last minute won't be such an ordeal this time around. Have I mentioned lately just how much I hate traveling with a baby?

Weekend Update

2010-10-25T09:01:00.001-05:00

The weekend was good around here! We started it off on Friday celebrating Steve's birthday with a beer float party. It was nice and low key with just a few of our closer friends. We spent Saturday running errands, but it was actually quite nice. Nothing real important on the agenda, I love those kinds of stress free days.

Saturday night we had another beer float party. Apparently Josh & Becca thought Steve's birthday party was on Saturday instead of Friday and showed up on our doorstep ready to party. Luckily we were home, so we all had a nice laugh over our beer floats and leftover birthday cake.

Sunday was a busy day, but not so busy that I got to take a 30 minute nap. Now that was nice! We ended the weekend by cooking dinner together and vegging in front of the tv. We also had a giggle fest with Asher. Who knew that saying "hi" could be so funny? The video seems to go on and on, and so did the laughter after I stopped recording. This kid is just so constantly happy it's unbelievable.

getting wiggy with it!

2010-10-21T08:20:00.001-05:00

Steve got inspired to go through our "halloween box" the other day. I vaguely remember us getting these wigs on clearance from Target last year after halloween. The laughs we had trying on these wigs was well worth the $1.00 we spent on them!

Shot #2

2010-10-20T08:48:00.002-05:00

I took the little guy in to get another shot yesterday. I was hoping he would respond like he did last time by giggling the whole time. I didn't fare quite that well, but I can't complain. He cried for a total of maybe 3 seconds and then was completely fine and didn't seem fussy or affected at all by the shot for the rest of the day. Maybe it's just easier on him since I only take him in to get one shot at a time rather than the usual 3 that most babies get.

We'll see how it goes next month.

I did have him weighed as long as we were at the doctors office and he's now weighing in at 17.5 pounds!

He's almost ready to outgrow his infant carseat. I'm expecting that he'll be rolling over any day now. He sure has been trying hard!

Job Offer: no pay, long hours, always on call. Benefits will last a lifetime!

2010-10-19T08:00:00.001-05:00

Whenever Steve and I have some time to ourselves to sit down and talk I always seem to ask him the same question.....What are you learning in life?

In order to ask the question I feel like I need to be able to answer it myself.

So here goes with what I'm learning in life.

I'm learning that sometimes the little things are the most important. Things like spending quality time with my family and not over committing my time to things that are really non-essential.

I'm learning to think about what I'd like to call "the 5 year rule". Will it really matter in 5 years? If the answer is no, then I don't feel bad about letting things slide. I'm learning that this precious time with my constantly growing child is really what I'm called to right now.

So many times people spend their whole life looking for their calling. Guess what mine became the day I got pregnant? Caring for this child. I don't take for granted this tiny human being that God has graciously lent me. I know that raising this child to know and love Jesus and be good to and respect others has now become my calling and I don't take that lightly. I don't ever want to be the mom or wife that puts my family on the back burner, so for this season of life my calling is to my family and I embrace that with all of my heart. Sometimes I find myself feeling down because I feel somewhat insignificant. I struggle somedays with feeling like my whole life revolves around pumping, feeding the baby, changing diapers and folding laundry. Really though, I know there's so much more to it than that and I want to treasure every single moment that I have.

I can't even begin to count how many times my mom has told me that the most devastating moment of her life was when she first went back to work and had to take us kids to daycare after my dad left us. To this day, she still feels guilty that she had 2 more years at home with Andy than she did with me. At least once a week I get an email from her telling me how proud she is that I decided to take a leap of faith to quit my job in order to stay home with Asher. She said those few years she had home with us kids were the absolute best years of her life.

I may feel insignificant, but I know that God has called me to "just be a mom" in this season of life and ultimately that is the most important job I've ever had. I'm learning to focus on what's really important. This may be a lifelong lesson, but at least I'm learning as I go.

Fall Fun

2010-10-18T15:34:00.003-05:00

We had a good weekend. Didn't have to much on the agenda, so that was nice. We went out to Schusters and did the corn maze, hayride and bonfire thing with our church and had a great time! I just really enjoyed getting out to do something fun!

We met with our window guy on Sunday afternoon and finally settled on our contract for new windows. So scary! I've been stressing out about all of the costly home repairs that have come up lately and yesterdays message at church was so timely. It was all about having faith and trusting God with everything. I know in my heart that everything I have is really not mine, but God's anyway, but still I've been pretty stressed about all of the major expenses that have come up for us in the recent months and weeks.

Steve and I feel a peace about this stupid $4,500.00 window investment, but I just couldn't help but find myself stressing out about this major purchase anyway. It was so good for me to be reminded that regardless of what is in our bank account God is in control and has always provided for our every need. We always pray together about major decisions - especially when it involves money and we feel in our hearts that this home repair is one that needs to be made. As stressful as major purchases are, I felt so good yesterday after we finalized the details with the contractor. I sure was getting sick of having different companies in our home every other day for estimates. I know we did our homework and found the best deal for a quality product, but actually sitting down and signing the contract was still overwhelming. I felt the same way both times that we've purchased homes as well. Once it's all said and done though, I have such a peace when I know we've made the right decision.

I am just so, so grateful for a God that cares about every detail of our lives - big and small. I'm glad I can rest easy at night knowing that no matter what comes our way God is in control - always has been and always will be. Thank God (literally!) for that, because if I had to depend on myself to figure things out, I would be up a creek without a paddle.

Next on the home repair agenda? A new heater. I know that someday we will be so grateful for all of these home repairs once we decide to sell our house - I just gotta keep reminding myself of that.

The week thus far....

2010-10-14T09:06:00.005-05:00

Things have been super busy around here. I thought we'd have a relatively quiet week, but I was wrong. Steve's been sick and it seems like everything in our house is breaking down. We're all alive though, so that's what important!

A few highlights of our week:

- I booked some tickets to Montana for Thanksgiving! Andy & Mandie will also be flying in, so we can't wait to spend time with them and introduce them to their little nephew. I'm not so excited about this flying with a little baby business though. It will be interesting to see how that all works out.

- AJ was visiting from Texas! It was so exciting to introduce him to Asher and Steve loved being able to spend some time with his good friend!

- I met up with my crazy friend Annette for breakfast yesterday. She promptly informed me that she was so glad I had called because she had dropped her phone in the toilet a few weeks back and lost my number. She doesn't know how to program numbers into her new phone, so she's just been carrying around a little notebook in her pocket to write down everyone's number as they call in. She never ceases to amaze me!

- I took Asher to the speech therapist yesterday and she said she's seen major improvement in his tongue since our last visit 3 weeks ago. I still might have to wait to introduce him to solids a little bit later than usual, but she thinks he should be fine with a little extra time and therapy. We'll go back in another 3 weeks and that might even be our final visit! Yea!

That's it from my neck of the woods for now!

3 Months!

2010-10-08T08:02:00.000-05:00

Somebody's looking pretty rough and tough!

I realized I haven't posted pictures of our big little guy in awhile, so here goes! He is still growing like crazy! What's amazing is that he's really started to slow down on how much he eats and is actually eating quite a bit less than what is recommended for his weight (16 pounds a few weeks ago, I haven't weighed him since). Since he's growing so quickly though, I'm not concerned.

On to other extremely exciting news, he has moved into his own room and the big boy crib! The cradle is still in our room, but will be going out to the garage to be stored sometime soon. It was almost like Amelia passed on the good sleeper torch while she was here. He not only started sleeping through the night, but also has started more of a routine with naps. He pretty much will sleep from 10 pm - 6 am now and it's so great! What's surprising is how tired I've felt! Amazingly, now that I'm getting some more solid sleep I feel almost more tired than I was when I was waking up to feed him. It's so darn weird.

Anyway, our little guy is just as cute as ever and every day I'm amazed at the new things he's learning and how quickly he's growing. Sometimes I still feel kind of in shock that I'm actually a parent! Steve and I are so in love with this kid and it's hard to look back and imagine our lives without him in it. He brings so much joy to us!

Without further ado, here's some recent pics.

He look like a little old man in this one! So cute!

I can't get enough of those cute chubby cheeks!

Hanging with the homies....

2010-10-07T09:03:00.007-05:00

This last week has been great and so refreshing. Sara and Amelia came to visit from Montana. It was so wonderful to meet this sweet Amelia that I've only heard about and seen pictures of for the last year.

Sara and I have been friends, well, for forever! One of my first memories of her was when we both sang in a little play with our children's choir at church - Sara was a little sheep in the play! If I had to guess I would say we were probably in forth or fifth grade at the time. Since then we've been good friends. I don't see her as often as I'd like since we live on opposite sides of the country, but when I do it's one of those friendships where you can just pick up right where you left off with none of the awkwardness that sometimes comes with catching up with someone you haven't seen in forever. I love those kind of friends.

Anyway, we had such a great week hanging out, introducing our kids to each other and catching up on life. After having such a busy and somewhat draining last few weeks it was so refreshing for me to spend some quality time with my good friend. Sara is such a wonderful mom and I just wanted to soak up every second of watching and learning from her. I think I must have asked her at least a thousand questions about parenting.

I was so sad to see her leave, but so happy that we had the opportunity to spend this time together.

Asher loved his Auntie Sara!

Hanging out at the park, yes, that is Josh pushing my 200 pound husband on the "big kids" swing. I think they were trying to catch up with Amelia.

Smoke Em' Buddy!

2010-10-06T08:46:00.004-05:00

This last week has been a whirlwind with Sara and Amelia here. Lots of fun times and so refreshing for me to have my good friend here! More on that later though, just wanted to let the world know that I'm still alive.

I'll leave you with a picture of one of our weekend activities:

If the "Smoke Em Buddy" isn't clear enough, we stumbled upon a marijuana festival right downtown near the capitol. We heard some live music and saw some booths setup so wandered on over to see what was going on. We realized after we were the only people there with kids what kind of festival we were at! I was pretty surprised that such a festival wasn't illegal! Good thing I don't mind the smell of patchouli. Needless to say, we didn't stay long, but we did get a good laugh.

Taking Asher to a marijuana festival - definitely a first....and last! :)

Busy, Busy, Busy!

2010-09-27T23:12:00.006-05:00

Things have been a little crazy around here. We're working on getting new windows in our house before this tax credit expires, and we've had a different window company in every night last week and even on the weekend to give us quotes. Needless to say we've seen enough window presentations to last us a lifetime. On the flip side, we're so glad we're shopping around because we've got quotes all the way from $4,200.00 up to $14,000.00.

We also had a super busy weekend. Friday night Steve and I went out to dinner and left Asher with friends for the very first time! It was great and I didn't worry one bit, although I did miss the little guy. This is only the second time I've ever been separated from our little Ash-man. It was kind of nice to get away, but I will admit that I gave the little guy some extra snuggles when we got home because I missed him so much!

Saturday morning we had another window demonstration and then met up with the Roberts downtown for some lunch. It was such a beautiful day to walk around on State street and do some people watching!

Steve and Chris were more interested in the low-riders though.

Saturday night Steve made some Chimichangas and we took them over to have dinner with some friends. So good! I love having a husband who is an excellent cook!

Sunday was just as full as Saturday - church, leadership meeting, birthday party, grocery shopping and coffee with friends.

I'm so ready for life to slow down!

Sam is away somewhere in the world racing, so Sara and Amelia are flying in from Montana to hang out with me for the week. I am SOOOOO excited to have my good friend here for some much needed girl time!

Asher's dedication

2010-09-23T08:21:00.003-05:00

My Dad and Stepmom were here visiting from Montana last weekend, so while they were here we had Asher dedicated at church on Sunday. It was so special for us as a family to be able to make a commitment in front of both our church and our family to raise Asher to know and love Jesus and have our church family pray for us to do that.

Neither Steve nor I came from a healthy family dynamic, so we are so excited to be able to change our family tree in this respect. What an honor it is for both Steve and I to be able to be a part of changing our family for the generations to come! We know that raising kids is tough work and we're bound to mess up, but hopefully those mess ups will be with the little stuff that's not quite as important. More than anything we want Asher to grow up in a stable, safe environment that models the love of Jesus. We always want him to know that he's loved and supported no matter what.

We've got a big job ahead of us, but we are so grateful to God for this opportunity to be parents to this amazing child that we are so completely in love with!

Perhaps my smartest moment yet....

2010-09-22T11:01:00.004-05:00

When I was still pregnant I had several friends recommend that I read "The Happiest Baby on the Block". This book was very helpful. Honestly, I don't think I ever finished it, but I got the most important part of the book - The five "S's". You can just google "the five s's" and get tons of links explaining what it is.

One of them though is shushing your baby. That's right, making a "shush" sound in their ear. We've found that Asher really likes this when he's upset. A lot of times this is the only thing that will really calm him down.

Sometimes it can get tiring though, so the other day I had the brilliant idea to record myself onto my phone while I was shushing Asher. Best thing I could have ever done! Now when he's upset I just pull out my phone and play the recording and it works like a charm! It also provides some comic relief, because when I was originally recording myself we were in the car with my dad and you can kind of hear the discussion that was going on between my dad and steve in the background. It goes something like this.

Steve: To your left is "visions". It's a strip club

Dad: Oh really

Steve: Yep, I've driven by it hundreds of times and never knew it was a strip club until one day Jenny told me. One of the girls Jenny used to work with actually quit her job caring for the elderly to go dance there.

Dad: Wow, that's quite a career change.

Hurling Video

2010-09-21T09:42:00.000-05:00

Don't have much time, gotta a busy day ahead of me and am exhausted from a busy last few days with family in town.

Steve had a hurling tournament last weekend and they made the news!

Check it out!

Always on my mind....

2010-09-14T07:08:00.003-05:00

I woke up with lots on my mind this morning. Lately I feel like I've been letting my mind run wild, and that's a dangerous thing.

I've had some stuff going on that really is little and trivial, but I feel like I've let myself think about it so much that it's become a giant in my life, and not in a healthy way. It's so hard to not let my mind run crazy sometimes and because of that I tend to make mountains out of molehills. I'm not saying I'm an advocate of stuffing problems to avoid dealing with them, but I do think that sometimes trivial things turn into problems that should have never been considered problems in the first place had they not had the opportunity to be broken down and contemplated so heavily. Now you can see why mind is full of thoughts, sometimes I even confuse myself.

In the midst of all my thoughts at 5:00 am, I figured I might as well just get up and enjoy the silence. Steve had left extra early this morning to meet a friend for coffee before work and the house was silent and peaceful. I made myself a latte and decided that it was time to dust off some really old CD's that had never even made it into i-tunes library (Delirious, Cutting Edge albums for those of you who may be interested). Music has such a calming effect on me.

As I was enjoying my latte filled, baby free (don't worry, he was here, just sleeping) morning I realized that really I always seem to make life way more complex then it should be. For not being all that smart, I seem to constantly over analyze everything to an annoying extend. Really, what I realized though is that at the end of the day my life comes down to two questions:

Did I love Jesus with all of my heart today, and did I love others like Jesus has shown love to me? Really, it's that simple. Love God, Love People. Why do we (I) as human beings make it so complicated sometimes? I think it's when we forget about the simplicity of the gospel and loving Jesus that we lose our balance in life. I know for me, it's true.

There is such complexity to these two simple solutions that literally can solve every conundrum in life, and although love is easier said than done, I think we over complicate, over analyze and all around disregard the simple power of it.

For me, I've got the loving people down for today (at least for the 4 hours I've been awake), but it's the loving God, or more letting him love me and trusting in that love that is my challenge for the day.

Here we go!

2010-09-13T13:46:00.003-05:00

It's been a super busy week. No time for blogging. I don't know if this week will be much better.

Here are some of the highlights of last week:

I took Asher to his 2 month appointment. Our little incredible hulk now weighs a whopping 15 pounds and is 24 inches long! He's in the 97th percentile for his weight and the 91st percentile for his height. He is growing like a week!

At his appointment he also got one of his shots - the DTaP vaccine. I was so worried and stressing the whole time, but the little guy smiled before, during and after the shot. It was almost as if he didn't even feel it and the nurse was so impressed. I feel a little bit paranoid now though because this kid just seems so pain tolerant that it almost concerns me. Remember when he scratched his eyeball? He never even cried or seemed to know it, just like this shot. Am I crazy for feeling a little concerned that my son didn't cry when he got a shot?

On to other news....I got a bunch of milk containers in the mail this week. Yep, exciting stuff. Hopefully this isn't TMI, but I've been producing milk like a cow. Literally, I have more than twice the amount that Asher eats. So, when the doctor mentioned donating my milk to a milk bank at first I thought it was a little weird until I looked into it and then I got so excited. The mothers milk bank of Ohio partners with a milk bank here in Madison. They collect breast milk to help sick babies in the NICU whose mothers can't produce milk. They go through a huge screening process (I had to do an interview, fill out a multiple page application, have both my doctor and Asher's doctor fill out paperwork, and then later this week will go get 3 vials of blood drawn) and once the donor is approved they can start collecting milk. All the milk is screened and pasteurized to insure it's safe. I feel so happy that I can help little babies in need. I know if my child were in a similar situation and I couldn't give them the milk they needed I would be so grateful for the help, so I feel really happy that I can something to help others out because of my over-abundance of milk!

Another highlight...we're looking into getting new windows for our house (we desperately need them) and yesterday, when a friend from St. Louis was in town I asked his advice on what kind of windows we should look for (he's a building inspector). He then offered to take some time off work and come up to Madison and install them for us himself to save us a bit of money. We are constantly amazed by the wonderful people that are on in our life and can't believe someone would be so kind to do this for us. Doc has always been amazing to us like this. When we lived in St Louis he saved the day for us more times than we could ever count and we're so blessed to have him in our life!

This week looks like it will be a busy one! Our community group starts up again on Wednesday and on Friday my Dad and Stepmom will be here to visit for a few days. Who would have thought staying home would keep me almost as busy as when I was working full time? It sure is a whole lot more fun though! I am loving my life as a stay at home mom!

Asher's First Trip to the Lou...

2010-09-08T07:24:00.010-05:00

Asher made his first trip to St. Louis and was finally able to meet some of the most important people in our lives! So exciting! It was a busy and long few days. I've learned that traveling with a baby is not so fun. Not only was our car completely packed with all the stuff we had to bring, but just being in a new place with not a whole lot of familiarity was hard for the little guy.

We spent the majority of our time with Steve's parents, but managed to get a little time in with friends as well. It was sooo good to see everyone! This will be a post with lots and lots pictures!

Some of the highlights of our trip:

Taking Asher to the arch for the first time. We lived in St. Louis for 6 years and rarely went down to the arch - I even worked just 2 blocks away for 4 of those 6 years. It's kind of one of those things that once you've seen it the first time you don't really need to go back again. Anyway, so after not having been to the arch in a few years I was reminded of how just amazing it is. I just can't imagine all the thought and planning that went into constructing something so amazing.

He also got to meet Grandma Rodriguez for the first time and as expected all she wants to do is spoil him rotten! She's so excited to finally be a grandma! It's the moment she's been dreaming about (and all we've been hearing about) since Steve and I even started dating. I think she has more items for a baby in her house than we do!

I'll admit it was a bittersweet trip for me. Seeing our friends was so great, but it made me so, so sad that our little boy won't grow up surrounded by the people that matter the most to us. It's so sad to know that Asher won't get a chance to really get to know the people that know us best. I hate that our friends have, or are having kids and Asher won't grow up with them. Moving back to St. Louis is something that will most likely never, ever happen for us though, and I'm okay with that, just sometimes a little sad about all that we're missing out on.

We got to spend time with Nathan and Jamie (check out her cute little baby bump) and we are so, so excited for the addition that will be coming to their family in January....a little girl! We can't wait to meet the little beauty! It was so good see these guys and to be able to spend some time with Erica as well.

We also go to see Nadia and she was completely smitten with our little guy (who am I kidding, she's smitten with ANY baby). Next time we see Nadia it will be on her wedding day. We're so excited for her and Justin!

Thankfully, we were able to get together with Tim and Amanda for a quick visit before they left town for the weekend (coincidentally, they were coming up to Madison). Asher loved Amanda! It was cute to see him get all snugly and flirty with her! It was the first time I've ever seen him make it really obvious that he liked someone. I dressed Asher in his favorite neck time onesie that Amanda had made him and she stocked us up with some more that she had made for him! Prepare to see lots of pictures of Asher with cute polka dot neck tie onesies on in the upcoming weeks!

Asher also got to meet old man Freet while we were in town. I think it was the first time that I've ever seen Dan hold a baby, and he did pretty good. It was really cute to see him get so excited.

Last, but not least, I got to see one of my favorite people in the entire world. No matter what, a trip to St. Louis is never complete without seeing my amazing friend Missy. I so wish we would have had more time together, but I'm so grateful for the time we had and for her amazing margarita's that force me to pump and dump. Ha! Ha! Love you SO much, Bodum!

It was so good to see everyone! Now that we have a baby our trips to St. Louis will be a lot less frequent than they have been in the past year. It's just to difficult to plan and pack for the baby and I was surprised by how difficult it was for Asher to adjust to getting out of his normal routine. We are looking forward to heading back to town to see everyone in October for Nadia's wedding though!

Then and Now....

2010-08-31T09:05:00.002-05:00

This photo was taken exactly 5 weeks ago....

And this is our little giant today! He's growing like a weed!

Notice how the little belt/holder thing goes up to his neck in the first picture? I can hardly belt him in this seat now on the biggest setting. I'm betting that within the next week I won't even be able to snap the belt to hold him safely in this seat anymore.

I'll admit, I feel like I've gone a little overboard with all the pictures I've been taking of our little guy, but after seeing how quickly he's growing (he's a whopping 14 pounds now!) it makes me want to capture every moment even more. I don't wanna miss thing! Everyone says to enjoy every minute and season because they grow so quickly, but I never imagined that he would grow this quickly! He no longer feels like a newborn, but more of a baby now! He's smiling all the time and in the last 2 weeks has started making all the funny baby jibberish noises. It's so cute! Life is starting to get a little easier, although it seems like just as soon as I start getting used to one phase he moves into the next phase. We usually get at least a solid 3 1/2 hours of sleep every night before he wakes up hungry, which is such a nice change from the 2 hour stretches we were getting.

I can't believe how quickly our little boy is growing up!

You want me to do what?!?!

2010-08-30T10:29:00.003-05:00

I had the first "I'm the worst mom in the whole world" experience last night.

When Asher was first born and still in the hospital he got a little scratch on his cheek from his fingernails. I felt so bad and since then have tried to be very diligent about making sure his nails are filed down every other day. Steve and I often joke and call him "Wolverine" because it seems like this kids nails are constantly growing. I'm not sure if this is normal for newborns or not?

Anyway, so I filed down his nails on Saturday, but then yesterday afternoon Steve was feeding him and noticed something on his eyeball. After looking a little closer he realized that our son had a very small scratch on his eyeball and it looked like it had been bleeding. Naturally, we both freaked out. I felt so bad that our little boy had scratched his eyeball. He didn't seem like he was in pain and was happy as a clam, but still I felt so horrible. I cried for a good long while after telling Steve that we could never have any more kids because I had to be the world's worst mom.

I didn't sleep well last night because I kept thinking about the poor little guy's eyeball and wondering crazy things like if he was now blind (which it doesn't seem like he is). My mind ran wild.

He seems fine today - totally happy and not fussing at all, but I still feel bad. I called the doctor this morning to see what I should do and of all things she told me to spray a little breast milk in his eye. Not the answer I was expecting at all. Apparently it works like neosporin and is a natural antibiotic for babies with cuts and scrapes. I would have never known. She said he was probably fine and to bring him in if he seems like he's in pain or his eye gets swollen and pussy.

For now I'll try the breast milk trick. I am so amazed by God's intricate design that he truly thought of everything when he made us - even down the ingredients of the breast milk and all of the nutrition and healing properties that would come out of it. So amazing!

Chicago!

2010-08-28T07:17:00.000-05:00

Steve had to go to Chicago for a work conference this week. He left on Sunday and one of my friends here happened to be going to Chicago on Monday, also for work, so Asher and I hitched a ride with her so we could join daddy for a few days. It was so great to get away and ended up being a nice little mini vacation! Steve ended up having quite a bit of free time, so we got to spend lots of quality time together.

His work put him up in a super nice hotel right downtown across for the Chicago Theatre. Asher and I spent a lot of time walking around exploring the city and shopping (or more browsing) the stores on State St. and Michigan Ave.

Not the best picture of our little Ash-man

It was nice to get away for a few days, but whew - packing for a baby is quite the ordeal! I couldn't believe how much stuff we had to pack up just for a quick trip. I spent the majority of Sunday afternoon packing and preparing, when before baby I would have just taken me a few minutes to throw my stuff in a bag. It was worth it though - we had such a great time and didn't spend a penny for our little getaway!

One of the highlights of the trip for me was seeing my friend Kris. I met Kris 11 years ago when I was teaching english in Thailand. He was one of my students and at the time only spoke a few words of english. We've kept in touch from time to time and he moved to Chicago not that long ago to go to school and is now a fluent english speaker! I was excited that we could get together and reconnect after all these years!

It was a great few days away and just what we needed!

Meeting Grandma....

2010-08-27T07:03:00.006-05:00

My mom was here visiting last week and fell absolutely in love with Asher. I literally had to ask to hold him at times because she just couldn't get enough of her new grandson. It was so cute!

We had a good time! I loved being able to get some things done around the house while she held him and actually took a nice long shower without having to listen to the baby monitor the whole time. Just one of life's luxuries that I use to take for granted.

We took a pontoon boat ride on lake Mendota - Asher's first time on a boat! He looked so cute in the life jacket that was huge on him!

My mom had a good time, but was so sad to leave and cried like a baby when I dropped her off at the airport. Being a grandma for the first time has changed everything for her.

Some of Asher's favorite things...

2010-08-19T08:00:00.000-05:00

Asher's list is a little less comprehensive than mine. But, he does have a few favorites that he just couldn't live without, and I think it's really cute!

He absolutely loves this giraffe that Ben & Katie got him. He doesn't get fussy all to often, but those few times that he does, all we have to do is pull out his friend the giraffe and all is well in the world again.

This wall! Seriously, this kid spends hours upon hours just staring up and smiling at this wall where it meets the shelf. I guess it's the contrast in color mixed with the fact that it's not so crazy and overstimulating like so many toys out there these days. Seriously, he loves staring at this wall and I find it so funny.

So many times I think he's being all cute and smiling at me while we sit on the couch, but then I realize he's really just excited to stare at the wall and I'm just chopped liver. It just goes to show that kids really don't need all the fancy toys and gadgets to keep them entertained!

Life these days...

2010-08-17T08:00:00.001-05:00

I've been feeling such an excitement for this new season of life that I'm in. I've absolutely loved being home with Asher. Somedays I don't leave the house and other days are a whirlwind of activity, but I like it that way.

I just feel like I actually have something more to offer the world (or more the people that are in my world) now that I'm not feeling so burnt out on life. Not that life was horrible before, but now that I'm not coming home from work every day exhausted I feel like I actually have something give to others rather than feel like I was operating out of emptiness.

I've been spending a lot of time hanging out with girlfriends during the daytime and then Steve and I have been having people over a lot in the evenings. I hesitate to word this incorrectly, but there have been so many times in the past where our hearts desires were to spend time with friends, but we were just so tired that it sometimes almost felt more like a chore. Now, even though I feel really tired from life with a newborn, it's a different kind of tired than I felt before. I feel like I actually have something to offer people other than feeling like I'm giving my time but not able to give all of my heart.

All that to say that I'm really excited for this season of life and all that it holds. I love being able to feel like I can actually invest in people again and do it without feeling burnt out. I've been loving spending one on one time with some of the different girls from our church community group and just being able to chat about life. I'm excited for what the fall holds for when our groups start up again. I feel like Steve and I (or at least me, since I'm not so stressed with work anymore) actually have something that we'll be able to now offer our group that we just unfortunately weren't able to give before. I'm excited to grow together as a group and do life together.

I'm also excited for all of the new friends I've been making in the recent months. We've been here in Madison for almost 2 years now and we're finally at the point where I feel like we can say we have a pretty large circle of friends, with most of them being actually very meaningful relationships. I've also loved having diversity in those friendships - whether it be friends from church or random people we've met that are completely different from us in every way, but we somehow just seem to click with anyway.

Life is good and my heart is so, so happy!

Asher's Newborn Pics

2010-08-14T09:39:00.002-05:00

Last week we went over to Tasha's and she took some pictures of our handsome little man. We went at a time when Asher's normally sleeping, but he must have known something was up, because he decided to stay awake and make funny faces at the camera.

These are some of my favorites:

Meeting Grandpa...

2010-08-13T13:17:00.002-05:00

Asher met Grandpa Rod for the first time yesterday. Steve's dad was in town just for a day for work, so we got to meet up for dinner and introduce him to his grandson. Never have I so quickly seen such a big guy turn into such a sappy teddy bear! Grandpa was absolutely enthralled with meeting his grandson for the first time, and it was so cute!

The grandparent mayhem will continue for the next few weeks. My mom's flying in for a visit on Monday and has literally been emailing me every single day for the last month telling me how excited she is to meet Asher.

We'll head to St. Louis over labor day weekend to see Grandpa Rod again and introduce Asher to Grandma Rod.

Two weeks after that my dad and stepmom are coming to make their introductions.

It should be a busy month with lots of family time!

The Enchilada Diet....

2010-08-12T09:21:00.003-05:00

I'm starting to think that Enchilada's may just be my lucky charm.

Let's go back to the day I went into labor..... It was a frustrating Saturday and all I wanted was to get our little guy out of me. I asked Steve to go to the grocery store and get some spicy food and make me some enchilada's for lunch, hoping that would speed things along a bit. Obviously, it did the trick when 15 minutes after finishing our meal my water broke.

Fast forward to yesterday....Annie was coming over for dinner and requested that Steve make some Enchiladas. This is the first time we've had enchiladas since the big water breaking experience. I jokingly told Annie that who knows what could happen after I fed Asher because it just seems like he might have a thing for enchiladas. It had been a frustrating last week because he's been going through some kind of growth spurt and has been waking up every hour to hour and a half to feed both night and day. Annie went home, I fed the baby and we all went to bed. Normally I just stay up till 12:30 or so when Asher wakes to feed and then go to bed after that until his next feeding. Last night I was so tired though and so when he fell asleep for his little catnap at 11:00 I decided I'd just go to bed to. Imagine my surprise when I woke to his little cries at 4:30.

I woke up Steve just to make sure that he hadn't woken up before and Steve had given him a bottle, but he said he hadn't. In my sleepy foggy state I almost wanted to do cartwheels when I had the realization - our boy had slept a full 5 1/2 hours!

No wonder I felt so good! That's the longest stretch of sleep I've had in months (even when I was pregnant I never slept that long due to my always full bladder, horrible heartburn and achy back).

I just couldn't believe it and thought maybe there was something to the enchiladas after all. Really, I know it's just a coincidence, but let me tell you, if there was even a chance that enchiladas would help get this kid to sleep through the night, I would be completely on board going with an all enchilada diet!

Here's to a great day after a good night's sleep!

Highlights of the weekend....

2010-08-08T17:32:00.007-05:00

It was a good weekend! We started it out by meeting sweet little Elliot Fox for the first time on Friday night. Ohhh my, he is so, so cute and all 6 lbs. 9 oz of him looks so tiny next to our 11 lb. 7 oz. giant! Yes, you heard me right our Asher was weighed last week and is getting so big!

We go into the doctor this afternoon, so I'm interested to see how much weight he's gained this week considering he's been eating like a horse. He must be going through a growth spurt as he's eating pretty much every 60-90 minutes now - day and night. Yes, it's not so fun at night, especially considering that it takes him a good 30 minutes to down a bottle. Hopefully he'll start spacing things out a bit more like he used to.

Something else that happened jump start a great weekend was my official resignation from work! I had told my boss months ago that I would not be coming back, but have received several offers to a promotion and salary increase, so she really was hoping I'd stick around. It's still financially just not worth it though after we would pay for childcare. Even more, I really want to stay home with this sweet boy and treasure this time we have together before he goes off to school. I know it's really a long ways away, but I've already learned in just 5 weeks how much time seems to fly by so quickly when you have kids. I typed up my letter, met with my boss for one last hurrah, and now I'm free! I was just a little bit sad, because as excited as I am to stay home, I really did enjoy my job for the most part, even though it was pretty stressful.

Another highlight of the weekend was pulling out the baby legs! I got a couple super cute pairs of these baby leg warmers when I was pregnant with Asher, and Steve has been threatening to throw them away ever since! He thinks leg warmers are just for girls, and I think they're just really cute on any baby! I pulled them out and put them on Asher over the weekend and think they're the cutest things ever! Steve is still not convinced, so Asher will most likely never leave the house in these things.

We also got to spend some time with our good friends the Bianchi's. They've been on vacation for what seems like forever and we have been missing them SO much! It did our hearts good to hang out with them.

I ended the weekend by taking my first solo venture out of the house sans baby on Sunday night. Steve's been out a lot hanging out with friends and such, but I have yet to ever be separated from my little handsome man. My friend Sarah and I both needed to get out of the house, so we left the kids with the husbands and ended the weekend by going to see a movie. Steve is so great with Asher and I didn't even stress out at all about leaving him with daddy all alone.

It was a good weekend, now it's time to get ready for a very busy week!

My favorite things....

2010-08-04T16:15:00.002-05:00

The things that make life easier has taken on a new light for me since I've become a mommy. There are so many thing that I've come to really appreciate in the last few weeks that I sometimes feel have saved my life!

You've all heard me hem and haw before about my love for the new dishwasher we got back in May, but it now has become one of those things that I fall more and more in love with every day! Seriously - makes life SO much easier and I am so, so happy that we have this wonderful contraption. I know, it has nothing to do with a baby, but it does have everything to do with making life easier!

Something else that I have really grown to love and appreciate it my boppy. So many moms told me that it was one of those "must have" items and now I see why! It is so nice for feeding and also just for those times when Asher wants to be held and my arms are tired. I just sit on the couch and put on the boppy and all is well in the world! Steve loves it as well and uses it all the time when he's bottle feeding our little guy. Asher loves laying in it to!

One more thing we have absolutely loved - the cradle that Dale & Missy gave us. It's so nice, sits right by our bed and whenever I hear Asher starting to stir at night I just reach on over and rock that cradle and all is well in the world again.....unless he's hungry or needs a diaper change, of course.

Last but not least, the diaper changing attachment that fits on the pack and play. We're borrowing this from the Bianchi's and it's been a lifesaver! Living in a tri-level definitely isn't the most convenient for life with a newborn, so our middle floor living room has been taken over by all things baby. It's so nice to have this diaper changing attachment and pack & play right there so we don't have to go upstairs y to change him every time in the nursery. Yes, we could have gotten away with just changing him on a changing pad on the floor, but after having a c-section I could barely bend over those first few weeks, let alone get up from off the floor. Now I can, but I just don't want to!

I have a few other things that I really love, like my Ergo baby carrier, Adan & Anais swaddle blankets, diaper champ, and of course the Medela Pump in Style Advanced that I thought I would never use, but unfortunately have to use 8-9 times a day.

I have learned and gained a better appreciation for some of the big and small things these past few weeks and am so grateful for all of the little things that make life easier! I'm so glad I wasn't born back in the caveman days - I don't know how they did it!

Let's get domesticated!

2010-07-29T09:13:00.002-05:00

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, Steve and I have been absolutely blown away by all of the amazing people that have shown so much love and support to us during this season as new parents. Seriously, people that we barely know have come out of the woodwork to provide meals for us and it has been so appreciated!

Not only has it challenged me to be better at going out of my way for strangers, but it has also challenged me to get more domestic!

The other day one of Steve's customers from work mentioned that she knew we didn't have any family in town and would love to provide a meal for us. It was so sweet and thoughtful, especially since we knew this lady (who is our age) is busy with 3 small kids of her own. I had actually never met her, and Steve barely knows her from her coming in once a week or so.

Anyway, so she brought us over some food on Tuesday and it was simply amazing! Seriously, most of the food was all from her garden and all of it was completely from scratch! We had homemade bread, blueberry scones, and awesome pasta with pesto sauce and some chorizo soup. We obviously still haven't finished it all, but it is seriously some of the best food we've had in awhile and I felt so inspired to up my skills (if that's what you can even call them) in the kitchen.

You would think that with some of the amazing ladies in my life (that would be you, Missy and Sarah) that can dance circles around Betty Crocker herself, I would have got this whole culinary art thing down. Instead though, I normally just enjoy the fruit of their work and then come home to make my usual grilled chicken salad or frozen spinach pie from trader joe's (which is super yummy by the way).

Now that I have the opportunity to be home and not so stressed though, I want to take advantage of it! Sure, being a stay at home mom is a full time job, but even with a newborn that completely exhausts me, I still feel like I have way more time and energy than I ever did on a slow day at work. Hopefully soon, I'll get to cooking more from scratch and Steve will be loving it!

Any tips on how to get started?

Hi Grandma!

2010-07-28T10:46:00.002-05:00

Just a quick video that we made for grandma yesterday. Not the best quality as I shot it with my blackberry while I was holding Asher (hence all the jiggles) but I just love seeing this boy smile!

He's smiling a lot these days and they've become the more social smiles rather than the "I'm trying to fill up my diaper" smiles. It's so sweet.

I realize that my blog has become all about pregnancy for the past 10 months and now all about this sweet little guy. I will try to remedy that and make it not completely all about babies, but our world now revolves around this little person that has stolen our hearts, so there's not room for much more. I will make an effort though. Just not today. :)

Things are well at home. I'm feeling better and better every day! Asher is doing great and growing like a weed! Yesterday we went to the lactation consultant and he was 10 lbs. 5 oz! Last Wednesday at the doctor he was 9 lbs. 9 oz, so we're no longer concerned about if he's eating enough! He's developing quite the personality - something I didn't expect at this young age!

We will be getting a referral to start sending him to a speech pathologist. No, our child is not such an overachiever that he's attempting to talk already, but he is having some issues with thrusting his tongue (hence my worries about him not getting enough food with nursing). Although our worries about him getting enough milk are over, the tongue thrusting is affecting how he eats and down the road could affect his speech, so the doctor wants us to learn some tongue exercises to start doing with him to get rid of the thrusting.

We had our first major public blow out on Sunday. I was sitting out at Steve's hurling game holding Asher on my lap and little man decided it was a good time to relive himself. It was pretty major - went through his onesie, shorts and then all over my jeans. Seriously, it was not a pretty site! I got Asher all cleaned up and changed, but as for me, I spent the rest of the game getting attacked by little fleas that were attracted to the crap on my jeans. So not fun, but at least now I can laugh about it! Poor Amber is getting ready to have her first baby in November and I think I scared her a little bit. I had to assure her that although we've had a few incidents similar to this, this way by far the worst!

That's what's happening in our neck of the woods this week!

Two Weeks Already....

2010-07-18T21:14:00.003-05:00

Our little sweet Asher is two weeks old today. It's amazing how much life can change in just 14 days. This kid has completely stolen our hearts and we are head over heels in love.

Steve goes back to work tomorrow. I'm not sure who's more upset....me or him. He is so sad to have to be separated from our boy all day long and it's so cute. He has been such an amazing help to me as I've been in recovery. Not once have I done a load of laundry or any cooking. Speaking of cooking....we have been so blessed by all of the amazing people that have brought us meals. Seriously, it's been the biggest help ever as the thought of putting together a meal in our exhausted state seems like pretty much the most impossible task ever. We have been so amazed by all of the friends that have gone out of their way to support and welcome our little man into the world.

Asher is doing well. He's really such a sweet little baby and is overall pretty much happy all of the time. We love it! We've had a few fun experiences in the last week and a half. We gave Asher his first bath, during which he pooped 3 times and peed once. Needless to say, the bath took a little bit longer than expected.

In this last week Asher has started to make eye contact with us. It's so sweet and special. He also makes some pretty great faces.

I stopped by my office to pick up my paycheck this week and ended up not being able to leave for 2 hours. All of my residents were so excited to meet Asher and as soon as I walked into the building the phone chain started as they all called each other to spread the word that the baby was in the building, It was so sweet to see them all get so excited!

Steve and I are doing well. We're pretty much exhausted, but that's to be expected. Strangely, our bodies seem to be adjusting. We'll see if I still say this after reality sets in this week and I'm on my own while Steve's at work. It should be a busy week. Between Asher and myself we have at least one doctors appointment every day. I am healing up nicely and have been slowly weaning off of my pain meds so that I'm able to drive again. Tomorrow I'll go to get my incision checked out and feeling confident that everything will look good. As tiring as the last few weeks have been, I've really felt God's grace in my recovery. It's been painful and tiring at times, but every day I'm starting to feel a little bit better. We've been taking walks every day, and although I still am not getting around like I used to I know it's only a matter of time.

For now though, all I want to do is soak up every minute that I have with our sweet boy and treasure every single moment that we have together. I can already see how much he's grown and changed in just 2 weeks, and I know that before we know he'll be growing like a weed. I want to get all of my snuggles in now while he'll let me. I never really get sick of holding him and looking into his sweet eyes. I never ever could have imagined that I could feel this much love in my heart for this little man that I've known just a mere two weeks, but Steve and I are both in agreement that our lives will never ever be the same now that this precious little guy has come along and completely stolen our hearts.

The Birth Story....

2010-07-11T15:11:00.009-05:00

Caution: this is long!

It was Saturday afternoon. I was feeling pretty miserable and asked Steve to go to the store and get some spicy food to make me some enchiladas for lunch, hoping that maybe it would bring about labor. Little did I know....

After lunch I went down to the basement guest room to lay down for a few minutes and suddenly felt like I had wet my pants. I stood up to run to the bathroom and immediately felt a gush and yelled up to Steve that I was pretty sure my water had just broken. I hadn't been having any contractions to indicate that labor was on the way, so I was pretty surprised by all of this.

I immediately called our midwife and she told me to hurry my way on in to the hospital. We got to the hospital and because I had tested positive for strep B, I immediately was hooked up to an IV. The midwife checked me and I still was only dilated 1 cm. She suggested inserting some cervadil into my cervix to soften things up a bit and hopefully help me dilate more.

I was hesitant at first, because I really didn't want to take any measures to speed things along, but because my water had broken and I was showing no signs of labor the midwife thought this was the best way to go. Within 20 minutes of getting the cervidal I was having contractions just 3 and 4 minutes apart and they were SO painful - mostly I felt them in my back. Also, I got really nauseated. With every contraction I had to vomit and it wasn't long before the enchiladas were out of my system and I was throwing up the acid in my stomach. So not fun.

Around 6:00 pm I really started to feel the pain and was having a hard time breathing through the contractions. I tried sitting, standing, laying down, walking, and bouncing on the exercise ball. Steve was so great and so supportive through it all as were the nurses in the birthing center. Finally, one of the nurses suggested I get in the whirlpool tub and that seemed to help a little bit, so I hung out there for the next 3 hours.

Still vomiting, my contractions were lasting about a 1 minute and were still 3 minutes apart.

Finally, the next morning at 8:00 am the midwife suggested we check my progress to see how dilated I was. I was so discouraged that I had only made it to 4 centimeters. It was at that point that the midwife became concerned that labor would not progress unless we helped it out a bit. I wouldn't have been that big of a deal if my water hadn't broken the afternoon before, but they normally like to have the baby out within 24 hours of the water breaking. So, it was decided, much to my dismay that I go on pitocin to speed things up. I was so nervous about this as I've heard the statistics and that many times pitocin leads to a c-section, but because it really was medically necessary we didn't really have much of a choice.

At this point I was going on 17 hours of labor, still vomiting with every contraction and having horrible back labor. I decided around 10:00 am that I just couldn't take it anymore and asked for an epidural. Holy mother, it felt nice! Despite being numb and having to have a catheter inserted it was so nice to not feel those contractions. The vomiting slowed down, although never really went away.

We spent the next few hours watching the monitor to see how the contractions were progressing. Often times they would come right on top of each other and I was so grateful that I wasn't feeling them. I was exhausted, after having spent the entire night in labor, but unfortunately even with the epidural was unable to get some rest.

Around 3:00 pm our nurse rushed into the room and immediately paged the rest of the nurses and doctors on the floor. Within seconds I was surrounded 5 nurses, my midwife and 2 doctors. I was put on oxygen and they were moving me from one side to another and then ended up inserting something into me to attach to the baby's head. I don't think I have ever felt so helpless or scared in my entire life. I still didn't know what was happening, but happened to glance at the monitor and saw that the baby's heart rate was down to 52. All afternoon it had been between 130-160 (the normal range). I still don't really understand everything that happened as it's all kind of a blur, but they somehow ended up shocking the baby and eventually his heart rate went back up. The whole process lasted just a few minutes, but seemed to drag on for an eternity. After everything settled down and I realized that we had almost lost our precious little boy I lost it and couldn't stop crying.

It was then decided that I needed an emergency c-section. Avoiding a c-section unless it was absolutely necessary was the most important part of my birth plan, (literally, I had underlined and put stars next to that part of the birth plan just to make sure they knew my thoughts on the subject) so naturally, I was devastated.

The surgeon came in to introduce herself before they were going to start preparing for surgery and could tell how upset I was to have to have a c-section. Since the baby was stable again, she suggested we check just one more time to see if I had dilated any. As it turns out in that 15 minutes since the incident I had dilated from a 4 to an 8. Everyone was shocked. The surgeon said that since the baby was stable if we'd like we could disconnect the pitocin to make sure we kept the baby safe and then wait it out a bit longer to see if I would dilate to a 10. I was so happy!

We waited for another 2 hours, monitoring contractions and the baby's heart rate. The midwife came in to check me and I was so hopeful that I had made it to 10 cm's. Unfortunately I was still at 8 though. At that point nobody felt comfortable with me waiting much longer. It was decided that we would take the lowest possible dose of pitocin to see if it would help and wait for an hour. If nothing changed in that time, we would definitely have to have a c-section.

Looking back, I was so happy for that hour. Steve and I spent that time praying and thanking God for keeping our little boy safe through the previous ordeal of the day and I spent some time praying for a miracle, while I also just asked God to give me a peace no matter what the outcome. As hard as it was, that was an hour I'll never forget. I really just felt a peace knowing that whatever happened God would be with us and submitted our lives and the life of our little guy to him no matter what the outcome.

Our hour was up and there was no change. As much as I didn't want a c-section, I felt a peace in my heart that this was the right choice. I didn't want to risk doing anything to harm our boy and whatever would get him out of me in the safest way was what I wanted to do.

They started prepping me for surgery and although I was at peace with the decision, I felt very scared to have such a major surgery. I had never been admitted to the hospital in my life, and the closest I have ever come to having surgery was having my wisdom teeth removed, so naturally the thought of them cutting me open and removing my insides to get to a baby was a little overwhelming.

They moved me to the OR and began prepping me for surgery. Whatever they gave me to numb me made me feel horrible and I immediately started vomiting again as well as started shaking uncontrollably. Steve got decked out in scrubs and after they had me fully prepped was able to join me in the operating room. Having him next to me for the surgery brought so much comfort to me. The surgery in itself didn't take all the long. After just about 15 minutes I heard the sounds of my sweet baby boy crying. They held him up for me to see before whisking him away to get tests done. I can honestly say that it was the most amazing moment of my entire life. Our midwife also attended the surgery and took pictures.

Here's my first view of our sweet Asher Struck Rodriguez.

Asher Struck Rodriguez was born with a boom on the 4th of July at 9:39 pm. He weighed 8 lbs. 10 oz and was 20 inches long.

Between my exhaustion and the medication, I was completely out of it at this point, but the one thing I knew was that I was so in love with this little boy. Steve went to join Asher for his tests and they started putting me back together. It's so crazy that it took only 15 minutes or so to get him out of me, and more than hour to put me back together. After Asher got all cleaned up they brought him over so that I could look at him while they continued to sew me up. I was still shaking uncontrollably, so I couldn't really touch him, but just to look him in the eyes was amazing.

For the rest of my surgery he just laid there and looked and me with not so much as a whimper. It was such a special time. Steve is such a proud papa!

We are so blessed to have this little angel in our lives! He didn't exactly come into the world in the way that we had anticipated, but we are just happy that he's here. After the surgery we were told that not only was he in a posterior position (hence the horrible back labor), but also had the cord wrapped around his neck twice. We are so grateful that God kept him safe and it actually made us feel very grateful for the c-section as who knows what could have happened otherwise.

Recovery has been rough. With the exhaustion of 29 hours of labor and all the emotional roller coaster this last week has been we've had a lot of ups and downs. My hospital stay was not the most pleasant. The day that my IV was finally disconnected and I was able to get up and take a shower I blacked out in the bathroom, hit my head and was unconscious for 3 minutes. Luckily, it was mostly due to exhaustion and the fact that I hadn't eaten in 3 days, so it wasn't due to surgery complications. My incision is very painful and I'm exhausted, but am healing up nicely and for that I'm grateful.

We were so blessed by all of the wonderful staff at Meriter. I can't say enough good things about all of the nurses and doctors that have worked with us.

We're all safely at home now. Asher is having some problems with his bilirubin levels and is on a strict 2 hour feeding schedule night and day. Between the c-section recovery and sleepless nights with all of the feedings we are absolutely exhausted, but that is to be expected with a newborn, so I guess I can't complain to much. Most of all we are just so thankful to have this little man in our lives!

40 Weeks and 4 Days...

2010-07-02T10:45:00.004-05:00

Here's a picture at 40 weeks, 4 days. Not the best picture ever, but its the best smile I could muster up.

Last night I commented to Steve that I literally feel like my stomach is growing every day. I've seriously noticed a difference. To my dismay, Steve agreed. I'm so afraid of how much this kid is gonna weigh.

I pretty much live in my sweat pants at this point and hate the thought of leaving the house. I am also SO swollen. I can't even get my wedding ring on past my second knuckle.

Becca and I are gonna go out and do some shopping this afternoon. I'm sure it will be good for me to get out of the house, but in all honesty, all I want to do it veg out and watch some trashy soap opera while I fade off into a nice long nap. Good thing I need some Tums for this horrible heartburn, otherwise the nap would win. Tomorrow's my moms birthday and I'm REALLY hoping I can give her a grandson this year for her birthday.

2010-07-01T09:37:00.003-05:00

Steve and I went to see Eclipse last night. We figure it's the last time we'll be able to go see a movie in a theatre for awhile, so we might as well live it up! I thought it was pretty good....not at good as the first two movies, but good nonetheless. I got a big bowl of buttery calorie filled popcorn and hoped that it would somehow send me into labor. Really all it did was make me feel ill though. Movie popcorn has got to be one of the most unhealthy things to eat in the whole entire world.....it sure is good though! :)

I woke up this morning to get a message from a friend that I've been playing phone tag with for the last few days. She had some good news to share with me and it literally made my whole day. I feel kind of like I've been in a constant bad mood because I am just getting so impatient to get this baby out of me and it was so good for me to think about something else and rejoice in the good things that are happening to the people that we love. Totally changed my mood and perspective.

I tried taking a long walk this morning hoping to walk this baby out of me. I forgot to factor in that I pretty much have to pee every 10 minutes at this point in life though and realized when I got 3/4 mile away from our house that from here on out I need to stick to just circling the block a few times.

Now, in a good mood and full of perspective I'm enjoying a beautiful morning sitting out underneath the shade of the giant tree in our front yard that Steve hates. I love the quiet of the morning partnered with a good cup of coffee and people watching as the neighborhood wakes up to walk their dogs, kids, jog and ride their bikes. So, so peaceful. I might not have that baby yet that I'm anxiously awaiting the arrival of, but I will enjoy the beauty of the day and bask in the goodness of God and how blessed I really am.

I am a changed woman....

2010-06-30T09:50:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure if its all the pregnancy hormones or the fact that I'm so anxious to get this baby out of me, but I somehow feel like my body has been invaded by aliens.

Take yesterday, for example. Last week we got a notice in our mailbox that the Salvation Army truck would be in our neighborhood this week accepting donations. I was thrilled because I had a lot of things to get rid of, but I've been so tired lately that I haven't had the energy to take a trip to a donation drop off point. We had a nice exercise bike in our garage that has been needing a new home, so I called the salvation army just to make sure that they would be accepting donations of larger items as well. I was thrilled when they told me they would gladly take the exercise bike.

So, I had Steve move the bike to our front yard before he left for work and I got up early to move all of the boxes I had filled up near the bike for the 8 am pickup.

The truck pulled up to our house and one of the gentleman loading up the goods knocked on our door and informed me that they were unable to take exercise bikes due to liability issues. I informed him that I had called in advance and had been assured that that they would take the bike and asked him if maybe he had been confused. He told me that he knew the rules and refused to take the bike. That's when I got mad. I didn't yell at the poor guy, but I definitely let him know how frustrated I was and responded with some smart comment about how now we have this stupid bike that's gonna have to sit in our front yard and look tacky while all the neighborhood kids stop by and ride it. I was ticked.

Then, to take matters even further I got on my computer and sent a nasty email to the major of the salvation army explaining how frustrated I was and asked that they educate their staff on what their policies actually are so that people in the community will actually want to continue donating items to them rather than being misinformed and getting ticked off.

After that I left for my midwife appointment and cried the entire 25 minute drive because it really hurt my feelings that they wouldn't take my exercise bike. Yes, I was crying over having my feelings hurt by the salvation army.

I swear, I feel insane. Yes, it's silly that my feelings were hurt so much by this, but what really gets me is my response. Sending nasty emails and letting out my frustrations on the poor donation pick up guy is not only so out of character for me, but so un-christian as well. What's even worse is that now that I've settled down I don't really feel all that bad about my actions. Give me 2 weeks and I'm sure if I'm not losing sleep over this baby keeping me awake I'll be losing sleep about feeling bad about being mean to the salvation army and wind up sending an apology email in the middle of the night. Miscommunication happens, people mess up and that's just how life is, somehow with all these crazy hormones I seem to have forgotten that.

Will I always be this way now, or once the baby comes will I be back to my normal self? I don't like feeling so sensitive and mean. What's worse, is that I don't like NOT feeling bad about being mean. I recognize that pregnant or not, I'm no angel, but I do want to be a person that shows love and respect to others when I deal with them regardless of how they are treating me.

I'm really hoping and praying that soon I'll be back to my old self. In the meantime, I think it's a good idea that I just hide away in our house so as to not scare the rest of the world away.

PS...for the record, I did get a very kind email response from the salvation army apologizing for the miscommunication. We also got rid of the exercise bike. Before I could even post the bike on the "free" section of craigslist one of our neighbors stopped by and offered to buy it from us. We were thrilled to be able to give it to her and get it out of our hair.

Highlights of my week...

2010-06-28T15:54:00.003-05:00

It's been a good week. Knowing that our time as a 2 person family is soon coming to an end, Steve and I have been going out of our way to do things we enjoy and spend lots of time with friends.

Some of the highlights of the week:

- Eating breakfast at Sophia's. Yum, I love this place and it is by far my favorite breakfast place in the entire world. We don't go there often, so when we do it's quite the treat!

- Steve's co-workers threw him a little baby shower and everyone chipped in and got us a Costco gift card. We are all about the practical, so it was such a blessing! We are so blessed that both Steve and I work with such wonderful people.

- Taking naps! I've taken 3 naps this week (never mind that 2 of them were on Saturday) and it has been so nice and refreshing!

- Spending time with friends! Saturday afternoon Katie and I went to Ella's for some ice cream and girl time. Later in the afternoon we met up with Steve, Nich & Sarah at BWW to watch the world cup (to bad the US lost). Saturday evening we went out to Pasquals to get some spicy food for dinner with Sarah. I was hoping the spicy food would send me into labor, but not such luck. Last night we had some very spicy Italian beef sandwiches at AJ & Sarah's and I kept hoping that would do the trick as well, but this baby must be un-phased by by hot food, unlike momma the wuss. We're loving being able to spend time with friends knowing that soon life is about to change and we'll probably be forced to become homebodies for the rest of the summer.

- Spending quality time with Steve. Just going out to coffee, chatting and laughing it up with my sweet husband has been nice. I know I haven't been the easiest person to live with these past few weeks, but he has been more than gracious to me. It's hard to imagine that I could ever love my husband more than I do, but I find that everyday I find something new that makes me love him even more. It seems like I constantly hear comments from people wondering if Steve truly is as nice to me at home when it's just the two of us as he is when we're in front of other people and they're always surprised when I say yes. I'm constantly reminded of just how blessed I am to be married to such a wonderful man. I don't take him for granted for a second and am so excited to see the wonderful father that he is going to be.

As far as pregnancy is concerned, we still have no clue when our little guy will arrive. I go for my weekly midwife visit tomorrow (my official due date), but I doubt they'll have anything new to tell me. I've been feeling tired, am incredibly swollen and very uncomfortable. Other than that though, I haven't had many contractions indicating that the end is near. I'm starting to get so impatient and am just really, really tired of being pregnant, hot, sweaty and huge! One of the guys from Steve's hurling team offered to take me on a ride down a bumpy street on his motorcycle last night and I was very tempted to try it. Hopefully next time you hear from me it will be to welcome our sweet bundle of joy....at this point I'm not crossing my fingers though.

The Waiting Game...

2010-06-23T10:15:00.002-05:00

The waiting game has arrived. I'm starting to get anxious for our little guy to show up. It wasn't so bad before when I was feeling better, but since last Thursday I have just felt horrible. It doesn't help that my hormones must be getting ready for our little guy to arrive as well because I've been an emotional wreck.

I went to the midwife yesterday and she said that our little guy is down there as low as he can get without me going into labor. She also estimates that he's about 8 1/2 pounds already. I'm praying he'll come sooner rather than later before he gains any more weight! I still have 6 days till my due date, but the midwife said I could expect to go into labor at any second (a change from last week when she though I might need to prepare myself that he could come late). I'm trying not to get my hopes up, as I know that "any second" realistically could be today or could be 2 weeks from now.

I'm definitely running out of energy. I spent most of Monday resting only to wake up Tuesday ready to nest. I was able to get the house all cleaned up (I even vacuumed out all of our window sills and fan blades) and took a nice long walk. Today I'm back to feeling tired and didn't end up getting out of bed until 8:30 (very rare for me). I'm definitely not pushing myself to do much this week unless I have the energy for it. Rest and taking it easy is on my agenda! I know once this baby gets here I won't have that opportunity again for at least the next 18 years! :)